Spring is here

Got out for a walk today...gorgeous 65 degree sunny Portland day! I was a little slow, partly to take lots of pictures and partly obeying my bloated belly. I was out there from 11am to 1:30, walking most of that time. Wow! I'm tired.

Here's my Picasa album with some photos I took.

velvet and the mountain

The day of my surgery (Tuesday) was the day that the Ellen Degeneres show aired with Trevor and his friends rescued from the Mt Hood trip. They were offered spots on a number of shows, including Leno, but decided to go with Ellen, apparently due to her love of animals, although Trevor did say he would try to talk the group into appearing on Letterman if they were contacted. (Apparently Letterman didn't come through.) I'm bummed that I missed their TV clip. Hopefully someone Tivo'd it and I'll see it eventually. Meanwhile, you can check out Miss Velvet's website, www.missvelvet.net, where you can get all the skinny. The group decided to take their "15 minutes of fame" and parlay it into awareness and fundraising for mountain rescue groups. Way to go guys!

I have to enjoy Mt Hood from the photos, because given my distaste for being cold and wet, it is unlikely I will ever summit myself. Beautiful views though!

gurgle, gurgle, growl...

Sleeping was a bit uncomfortable. I seem to be putting all my weight on my left shoulder at night, perhaps because it's a little harder to reposition myself with my bloated tummy. All night my stomach gurgled and growled, obviously hunger sounds, but I didn't really feel hungry. Strange. This morning I made myself a protein shake first thing, and was able to get it down pretty easily over the better part of an hour, but I feel very full now. How will I get in my required water?

I did work out last night at the gym. By "work out" I mean nothing more serious than walking on the treadmill, at a slower pace than I usually do. I did 37 minutes; my goal was 30 but I was watching Animal Planet and wanted to finish the show. :) This morning I think I might go for a walk on the Eastbank Esplanade. I'll bring a camera in case anything fascinating points itself out to me.

Today I have 2 main tasks, besides drinking water: write thank you cards to the nurses at Good Sam, and write letters to Gonzaga and OHSU regarding my intent to enroll at Gonzaga. I also plan on making some more beads. I really need to learn how to photograph them so I can share them here.

Down 4 lbs from my preop weight...

Beware the Ides of March

What the heck are the Ides of March anyway? Turns out it's just a term for the middle day of the month, Roman style. Today is Thursday. I have the urge to do more than I probably should. My belly feels full and a bit bloated, but I'm not hurting. I have about 10 gallons of lortab elixir here in case I do need it, but thankfully I don't just yet. (I've decided to take it before going to sleep. It's so gross tasting. I rinse it out with mouthwash and a Viactiv chew.) Also Tylenol elixir, just in case. Unfortunately, during my teen years I practiced bulemia and abused ipecac from time to time, and ever since then liquid medicines are almost impossible to swallow for me. I also have to crush my antidepressant. I used to take all my pills and vitamins in one chug at night, but now the stuff that isn't chewable gets taken slowly, crushed, throughout the day.

Besides trying to get enough water down my gullet without feeling too full, I'm feeling pretty good today. I have to force myself to convalesce and take it slow. I will go for a walk later today, but other than that I guess I'll make some beads and relax. And drink water, my friend.

I'm Home!

Well, it's all over, and it went very, very well. I arrived at Good Samaritan Hospital at 11:30 am, as I had been informed that surgery was at 1:30pm. They took me right back to the short stay unit (SSU) where I was told that it was pushed back to 3:30. The nurse went over Dr Hong's schedule and noted that he was doing about 5 GB's before my lap band case. I made a mental note of that--GB definitely has the potential of going longer than expected, and knowing as I do how surgery schedules change as the day progresses in the OR, I figured it could be later than that. Indeed, I was brought back to preop holding at 3:30. The SSU nurse had trouble getting my IV, but I think she might have just psyched herself out--she saw I was a fair skinned redhead, obviously bariatric, and didn't have the biggest veins ever (although not the smallest either), plus she knew I was a nurse. She tried only 1 time and then called the IV team, which was fine but I think she could have gotten it if she just hadn't worried so much. Oh well, the IV went fine and lasted the whole hospitalization.

Anyway, I stayed in preop holding for 2 hours. 3 people were brought back there after me, and 1 was left when I went to surgery. I met Dr Hong again, who basically just assured me that everything would be fine and looked to make sure that I was getting my antibiotic and my lovenox that was ordered preop. I didn't see my anesthesiologist until about 5:15. He was very friendly, and probably only 5 years or so older than me. Shortly before I was wheeled back, I jokingly told him that I would tell him a "secret": that I was going to Gonzaga for CRNA school. He took it well. :) Not long after that, I was wheeled to the OR by the surgical techs. Stopping in the hall where Dr Ford was talking to a colleague, he gave me some Versed (sedative) in my IV, and I was asleep before I got to the OR.

I'm not sure if I remember PACU or not--I don't think so. I do remember waking up in my room around 8pm. I felt okay. They set up my PCA, and I asked them to call my husband into my room. I was groggy, but not too painful, and very happy to see hubby. I could tell he was fighting the urge to get into my bed with me. :) He was so sweet. Thanks honey! My nurse showed me my incisions when she checked them. They were higher up on my abdomen than I expected. The port incision is just to the right of midline, and it looks to be just over 1" long. I have 2 just left of midline, one over the other, and I have one all the way right and one all the way left. The steristrips are a bit bloody, but covered with clear dressings, so I can shower before they come off.

I got incredibly itchy around 1am, and requested some benadryl (IV). It worked a bit, but I kept getting itchy. I don't know if it was all the stuff that was put on my skin, the sheets, or the dilaudid, but I stopped using the dilaudid around 3am and it seemed to get better. At that point I was only using it to help me sleep anyway. I really had surprisingly little pain, just a bit when I moved or tried laying on my sides. They had ordered Toradol for me as well, which is a strong anti-inflammatory drug, so that was helping a lot with the pain.

I stopped trying to sleep around 4am and just read my book for a while until I got sleepy and dozed off. I slept a little off & on the rest of the morning, but mostly have been awake since then. My hubby came back around 10am. I spent the morning waiting for my swallow study in radiology to make sure that the band was in place and was patent. It didn't happen until 1pm, most likely due to all the surgeries the day before. The band was fine and I started drinking water when I got back. They had me write down my 1 oz. of water (or fluid, including the lortab elixir, which was NASTY!) that I was supposed to drink every 15 minutes. Then I just had to wait for the dietician, who was also held up due to the large number of surgeries on Tuesday. I saw my surgeon around 2:30, who told me everything had gone smoothly and he had used the smaller band (the 4cc band) and even that was pretty loose on me. He said there wasn't a lot of fat around my stomach which had a lot to do with that. I guess when you are on the low end of high BMI, that happens.

I finally saw the nutritionist at 4pm, and she had my personalized Stage 1 diet, which said I should be taking 45-52gm of protein per day. She had some more specific requirements for the first 2 weeks: to use protein shakes, and to use 2% milk instead of my nonfat I have been drinking for years, since I won't really be getting much fat otherwise; and to use full strength fruit juice when I do drink it because I'll need the carbohydrates. She said to use milk based soups and blend them rather than using broth based soups, since those are mostly salt water when you remove the solids. She went over the stage 2 diet (purees) and made sure I knew to use some fat and some sugar so I'd get the needed fats and carbs while my caloric intake is so low. She went over vitamins a bit. Then I was free to go.

It was just great to get outside where it was sunny (although a bit nippy at 54 degrees). Being off the drugs and out of bed, I had loads of energy this evening. The only issue I'm having is after several hours of drinking my required water, and 2 oz. of protein drink which was OK'd for today, I feel FULL. I still am supposed to drink more but I'm just full and uncomfortable and don't want to test my vomiting limit just yet, 24 hours post op. Not sure what to do about that...? My instinct says to trust the fullness and hope it's gone soon.

There it is, post op day 1. Tomorrow I walk!

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. --Will Rogers

T-minus 16 hours and counting...

Today I rolled out of bed around 9:30 am. What a luxury to be able to sleep in still at the age of 33! Today has been my day to wrap up any loose ends before surgery. My only appointment was my pre op class and my blood draw. I did not intend to take my pre op class just one day before surgery, but when I scheduled the surgery it was the last class left before 3/13. No class, no surgery! I also had to have my blood drawn. My surgeon requires a serum B-HCG (a blood pregnancy test) within 72 hours of surgery. Most surgeons I've read about online just do a urine B-HCG in preop. I don't know why he does it this way, but whatever.

My dear hubby came with me to the class. We were a little late, and the class was waiting for me and a couple of other stragglers who did not end up coming. (What happened there?) The class was pretty general, nothing really new based on my research but specific to my surgeon's preferences: how long on liquids, which liquids, details about purees (or "mushies" as the bandsters online call it), etc. I can't say it was really interesting, but it was good to go to. Because I was later than I had planned, I got my blood drawn afterward rather than before.

We were late because we went to a favorite local restaurant for a late breakfast: The Cup & Saucer on Hawthorne. I had 2 eggs, one large blueberry pancake, and some vegetarian sausage. I LOVE blueberry pancakes! I hope I can still eat them postop eventually, even if I can only manage a few bites. :)

Much to my surprise, at the class we went around the table introducing ourselves, saying how much activity/exercise we get, and when our surgery date is. Most were soon, but I was the only one there having surgery tomorrow. The NP who led the class asked, "Oh, so you're on liquids now, huh?" I said, uh, YEAH. No one told me to be on liquids the day before surgery! I mean, lots of surgeons put their patients on liquid diets for up to 2 weeks prior, but the only instruction my surgeon ever gave was NPO 12 hours before surgery. WTF?! Anyway, I'm not gonna stress too much about it. My last solid food was almost 24 hours before my surgery, which is at 1:30 pm tomorrow. I'm on liquids now!

Weight loss surgery is not the only thing going on in our household, just the only thing this blog is really going to address. We have some other things going on right now that are sort of beyond our reach at this point, but it's kind of calming to just focus on the surgery and recovery today. All of the things I will need for the hospital will fit into the nice little bag that my CPAP travels in. I'm not bringing much--most people bring too much stuff to the hospital. I'll go home in the clothes I arrive in. I'm just bringing clean undies, a real toothbrush, a book, a magazine, my earplugs, my CPAP and my iPod. I'll bring my pills just in case I need to or can take them, but I'm hoping I stay sleepy on a PCA and don't have to worry about sleeping medicine! (I had a breast reduction in 2001 and slept FINE on the dilaudid PCA, did not need my nortriptylline at all!) If I did take them, they would have to be crushed anyway, and I probably won't have my swallow study before 5pm anyway since my surgery is so late in the day, which will mean I stay NPO all night. On second thought, maybe I should leave them at home after all...

I made sure to have my advance directive signed by my good friend Lori before surgery too. I've gone over my wishes pretty extensively with my husband, family and friends, but having something in writing is reassuring for people when they have to make decisions for you. I don't think anything bad is going to happen in this surgery, but I am an ICU nurse and we've all seen people have simple procedures (simpler than laparascopic gastric banding) and not do well for one reason or another. I needed an advance directive anyway, so this was a good excuse to get it done.

I also went through my photos over the last 5 years that show my weight fluctuations. Hubby took some pictures of me the night before last, and as always they are incredibly revealing. I don't see myself as obese as my photos show. I need to do some final measurements tonight so I have some point of comparison for later when the new me is revealed.

What else can I say? Time to get cut! Wish me luck.

Look out for the fat chicks!

Ok, so I was thinking about the idea of telling friends and family about the surgery. I did tell my family after a lot of thought. I have told a couple of friends...ok, 2. I'm sure I will tell more people afterward but I've just been wanting to get it done first and then after it's obvious that I'm losing weight and I took time off from work, let people in on it if they ask. But there's a missed opportunity there, to tell other people that this option is out there and it works and makes your body healthier. And I was thinking of all the cool women I know who might include themselves at a "fat chick"...maybe not, maybe only in private, I dunno. But what would the world do if all the fat chicks suddenly weren't fat anymore? I mean, we've all developed the rest of ourselves so well, personality and intelligence, education...we're funny, smart and cool...and suddenly not fat anymore? LOOK OUT WORLD!

I was accepted to OHSU's CRNA program. Yay! This weekend my husband and I will look at some numbers and decide for sure which program I will enroll in. My gut tells me Gonzaga, even though it means moving to Spokane. It's nice to have a choice, anyway, and it would be strangely gratifying to turn OHSU down. :)

I continue to prepare for surgery, which is next Tuesday, just 3 days away. I have ordered more protein powder, organized the kitchen, and have just 1 more shift to work before my leave starts. I'm reading lots of band blogs. Some are full of gems and some are irritatingly whiney. Some people seem to "get it" and some don't, which shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. The worst are the ones who go on and on about how they aren't losing as much weight as they want, but they are eating whatever they want, and still ARE losing weight. Grr. I just doubt that would be me.

I'm getting more used to Pappy (the CPAP). I don't find myself waking up during the night now. I do sometimes take it off in the morning and sleep without it for another hour or so. That's ok, according to the sleep lab people. I still get sleepy midday but it seems a little better. I also had another appointment for my eye, which my doctor says is 99% improved. Yay! No drops for now, but also no contacts for another week. And my vision in my left eye is still much worse. He'll recheck the refraction in 3 weeks. I've been wearing my glasses only for the last 5 weeks, which is frustrating since my left eye doesn't see as well as it did when I had them made just a few months ago.

I'm making lots of beads and still having fun with it. I don't particularly enjoy getting my oxygen tank refilled every 3 weeks, but it's okay. I may look into an oxygen concentrator that can handle my big torch at some point. One with the right capacity will cost me around $1000-1500. First I want a new kiln with a digital controller. The one I want is also about $1000. I think I will get one after my debt is all paid, which should be this summer. Right now I am sticking to one bead that I particularly like. I want to make an entire necklace of these beads, and the repetition should help me build my skills. I'm already much better at encasing from making the same bead 12 times. I bought lots of new Italian Moretti glass but I can't break myself away from the Bullseye, I love it so much! And their store is blocks from my house, I just cannot get over that. :)

Today I brought my violin to the violin shop down the street from me. I haven't played it in years but want to get it back in shape and start playing. So, I'm having the bridge slightly reshaped, getting new strings, having the bow rehaired, and then I'll take the case to a luggage shop to have it repaired. A few hundred dollars that will have my most prized possession ready to use again. I might buy a new carbon fiber bow to play with also, but that would be down the road a bit.

Things are changing, and it's a good thing.

"When you blame others, you give up your power to change."~Douglas Noel Adams

"The meaning I picked, the one that changed my life: Overcome fear, behold wonder." ~Æschylus

Some tools for the Journey

Here are some things I picked up recently to aid in my new way of life:

1. Tiny utensils at Crate and Barrel
2. Ginko leaf plates. I love all the stuff in this line, but we have enough dishes already and I love my Fiestaware, so I'll just get these 2 plates for daily use.
3. Stainless steel shakers for protein powders (see below)

I'll need to get (at some point) a digital kitchen scale.

It seems, as I read all these wls blogs out there, that everyone has a clever name for their blog and a cutsie nickname for their band. Should I have one? I can't stomach another weird "band" pun. But maybe a name for my band...dunno. I'll keep thinking. Suggestions are welcome!

The best protein powder

I read someone's WLS blog (was it Kate Ford's?) which recommended Unjury protein powder as the BEST tasting and dissolving powder out there. The flavors are good and the unflavored is really unflavored. So, I ordered some samples (and a full can of the Unflavored, that can definitely be useful) and I've tried the Vanilla and Chocolate samples. That stuff is really good. It's a little sweeter than the stuff I'm used to from Costco, so I might end up cutting it a little bit with the unflavored, but it's tasty and not chalky or powdery at all. Thanks for the tip! Check out www.unjury.com for more info.

Kate's blog is really great, a good read and useful info. I loved her suggestion of putting the powders into those shakers you can buy with the handles. You can shake the unflavored on veggies, into soup, anything that you can think of. The vanilla or chocolate can go on top of sugar free jello, coffee, drinks, desserts, yogurt, whatever. Extra protein! I love it. I went out and bought shakers for that purpose. (While I was at it, getting the shakers at BB&B, I got some small utensils for taking small bites, and I went to Crate & Barrel and found these really adorable small plates shaped like ginko leaves. Should make the small meals more fun--especially when made bento style. Check out www.cookingcute.com for suggestions!)

Getting too much protein can be a problem for lots of people eating the standard American diet, but as a vegetarian I don't get too much. I get enough for now, especially since I started eating fish again, but the powders can put too much stress on your kidneys if you take too much. You can only absorb about 30 gm at a time, so I'll be careful to stick to that (no more) with each meal.