November already

Halloween 2008 is now a distant memory. I went to a work party on Saturday...you all know how dangerous those can be. We didn't stay too long. I was Marilyn Monroe (one of 3 there!) and my hubby was a fantastic Elvis. I drank a bit...more than I had originally planned, but not enough to embarrass myself in front of the people who are my preceptors for the next 18 months, thankfully. But this year I was more bothered than I have been in the past by the costumes that are commercially available for women. Why are they all so slutty? It was very hard to find something that I thought was work-appropriate, yet still attractive. It turned out that many of the women there weren't that bothered by the notion of dressing like a skank in front of one's coworkers.

I decided today that if I plan on not becoming tremendously fat again soon, I ought to start cooking again. I've been sort of getting by on things I can throw together quickly, which don't tend to be the best for you, of course. So I pulled out some favorite cookbooks and got started. The first thing I made was a "hot dish" type of casserole that is traditionally laden with sour cream and cheese, but I made it healthier (and more protein) by using nonfat greek yogurt instead of sour cream, and adding Morningstar Farms fake ground beef for a little more protein. It's quite yummy and not as sinful as the original by far. Later I plan on making some Wasabi Mashed Sweet Potatoes. Doesn't that sound strange and yummy? Decent nutritional profile too, though I'll have to dream up a way to get some more protein in them.

My grandmother is doing worse than before, and I need to evaluate tomorrow whether I ought to come back to Salem to see her before she dies. Everything in me longs to just go see her now, but I at least need to get through clinicals tomorrow first, and I want to call my aunt and uncle to see if she is alert enough to know if I am there. But either way, I'm torn on what I should do. I feel like I should try to get as much school in as possible, since it's so easy to get behind and so hard to catch up. But this is my grandma, probably my favorite person in my whole family (maybe just my favorite person, besides my hubby). And it's hard for me to concentrate on my schoolwork when I know she is dying. It's so hard to make these kinds of decisions. If I was still working I wouldn't be able to take this much time off at all--but then, if I was still working I'd be in Portland, and I'd be able to see her within a 45 minute drive, and I never worked more than 3 days in a row as an ICU nurse so I probably would have been able to see her more even if I couldn't take much time off. Not that it matters. My grandma is just a wonderful person, and I'm so lucky that I've had her in my life for over 35 years. It's hard to let go.