Start where you are!

Looking over at my "About This Blog" blurb to the right, I see that my 4 year bandiversary is coming up on March 13. 4 years sounds like a long time to me. A lot has transpired since my surgery day...I've started and completed graduate school, moved to Spokane and back to Portland, become a CRNA and started a new job, and of course, given birth to the beautiful joy of my life, Lucy. And now, I am getting itchy to get my body back.

I've kept most of the particulars off this blog, like my exact weights, but that feels cumbersome right now, so I'd rather just put it all out there, as I get into a mindset to lose weight and regain my body again after pregnancy and lactation.

A band recap:
Starting weight: 234 in March 2007
Lowest weight: 165 in February 2009
Prepregnancy starting weight: 180 in December 2009
Highest pregnant weight: 209 in September 2010
Current: 196

I actually initally lost all but 5 pounds of my pregnancy weight in the first two weeks post delivery, but when I started domperidone to increase my milk supply, the weight came back on and has stabilized. I've been this weight for at least the last month, with very little variation.

I have very mixed feelings about where I am. On the one hand, I realize that my body is still doing a lot of work in nourishing my child, and it's not the time (yet) to seriously try to lose weight. And I'm happy that I can provide at least some (about half) of my child's nutrition. It's all coming from just one poor post-op breast, so I'm happy I can do this much, and although I still find exclusive pumping hard, I am going to try to make it at least to 6 months. But on the other hand, I really am ready to get my body back, and hopefully get back to my goal weight before (possibly, probably) trying for one more pregnancy.

My goal will be 165. By BMI standards, that seems high, but when I was that weight, I was a size 6 and quite thin. I don't need to be any smaller than that. Maintaining 170 wasn't too tough, but 165 took a little work. We'll see what I am able to do.

Some people get into weight loss mode very quickly and jump right in. I've always found it works best for me to take my time to ramp up to the right mindset. I'm in that process now. I'm just working on paying attention to what I'm eating, not necessarily editing it but making some effort to make good choices. I'm trying to work out still, but am finding it very hard to get out with the baby. Part of it is that I just don't want to spend my time off away from her, so I don't go. I do want to get a jogging stroller now that she is old enough to be in one (around 4 months their necks are strong enough for the jostling) to help me get out more. (That might take some convincing for my husband, since we already have 2 strollers. But I really do think it will help me get more exercise.)

And as for the band? I probably need a fill. I had 1 cc removed at the start of the pregnancy, and haven't had any fill since then. But I definitely need to see how I do with good eating choices first, to determine if I really need one. Because I've never gotten really strong "restriction" signs, and have never felt overfilled, it's always been hard for me to determine if a fill is needed. I suspect I'll find that I want one, but not while I am still pumping, and I doubt they would do it even if I wanted it now. So we'll table that thought for the time being.

Meanwhile, the Lucy Report: She is awesome! She just turned 4 months old, is smiling and sometimes laughing, and can roll over from tummy to back. She's getting very strong and might be sitting on her own in the next few weeks. She can sit in her Bumbo quite nicely. She went through some sleep regression over the last month but has done better the last 3 nights, basically sleeping through the night in her crib like a big girl! We are having so much fun with our sweet girl. She has our hearts for sure!