Finally!

Insurance company relented...they reversed their denial!  Interestingly, my employer is switching insurance providers on Jan 1, which I didn't know until very recently.  I think that might have been part of why they did not follow their own revision policy...they didn't have a lot of time to wait me out.  But, they reversed, and just in time. My surgery is one week from today.  It's hard to wrap my brain around.  It's hard not to feel like this won't help.  I think I have really gotten accustomed to the disappointment from the band, and it's hard to think that I might be successful long-term this time.

I've ordered my B-12 vitamins, and I'm preparing for the whole surgery thing again.  This time I am doing it as a mom of a toddler.  I've never spent a night away from her before!  I don't know how that's going to go.  And she likes to be picked up, won't be able to do that for a while either.

I've started talking with my regular counselor about my food issues.  It felt really good to do that.  I hope that I can work through some of that stuff that holds me back and keeps me holding onto this weight.  I guess the biggest difference for me this time versus the band surgery is that now I know the surgery is not the biggest part of this.  I don't believe I can eat as little as I need to to lose weight without this surgery.  But a much bigger part is going to be dealing with the emotional issues around food, which are extensive and very difficult to bring into the light.  If I can't be successful in dealing with the emotional issues around eating, no weight loss is going to be lasting.

Wish me luck! :)