Keeping it Real

I guess my bikini modelling days are behind me...I'll have my third laproscopic surgery next Friday, to remove that cyst.  I could have taken a wait-and-watch approach, but the idea of ovarian torsion is kind of scary to me, and some days the thing hurts quite a bit.  I will feel better when it is just gone.  Of course, there is that vain part of me that doesn't want to see any inevitable weight gain post op, even if it is just temporary water retention.... But beyond that, I'm not really concerned about it.  The cyst is likely to be an adenoma, which is a benign tumor.

Weight loss is plugging along.  I try not to compare myself to others, which is hard.  My appointment with my surgeon a few weeks ago was fine, and he was pleased with my success so far.  I have heard that being a lap band revision often means a slower weight loss.  I don't know how often that is true, but it makes sense to me that I lost a lot of lean body mass in the process of weight loss, graduate school and pregnancy, and losing weight now is a little harder because of the resulting slower metabolism.  Plus I am older now.  So, I'm trying to take it in stride and be happy for my 1.5-2 lb per week loss, which is still better than I ever did with the band.

I am starting to see a difference in the mirror and in photos.  I'll post one sometime.  I definitely have more energy.  I still have a hard time consistently finding time to run, but the FitBit is encouraging me to go for a walk if I haven't gotten my goal for steps yet, and getting more stairs in as well.  I do think those kinds of incidental activities do help as well.

I read an article today about the queens of mommy blogging.  Actually, I first read a link my hubby sent me about dad blogging, something I've been encouraging him to do since he is the full-time caregiver for our daughter now.  And the article linked to a NY Times article about those power mommy bloggers, particularly Dooce and Pioneer Woman.  I didn't realize just how lucrative Dooce.com is for that family--seriously lucrative, in excess of $1 million a year.  But it got me thinking about the kinds of narratives that have made certain blogs relatable and thus, popular.  You just have to be willing to share everything about yourself, or seem like you are sharing everything.  There is a cost.  If I was willing to do it, I could probably sell our family's daily life story and have a more compelling blog, perhaps even one that made some money.  Weight loss surgery is almost an afterthought around here.  There's my career, there's our family experience with addiction, our nontraditional family approach with me working outside the home and my husband caring for our daughter and our home.  My hubby's life alone was interesting before he even met me.  And two-year-olds are actually pretty interesting.  Ours is hilarious.  But at what cost?  There is a lot of stuff that goes on around here that I'm sure people could relate to and might even find compelling.  But there are costs to losing that privacy, and they are too high for me (not that I am such a fantastic writer anyway...I don't think I have that kind of "voice").  It is very interesting to consider though.  I think most of the blogs out there are kind of like this one: they mainly exist for ourselves, a few people find them because they have similar interests, or they are friends or family who are interested for personal reasons, and they are just out there.  I am careful not to overshare, especially about hubby or my little girl.  The internets are forever, yo.

But I can share about one of the most intimately personal parts of life, my struggles with my weight.  So here I am, keeping it real about trying to lose weight and get healthier.  It's funny, in a way.