I'm not avoiding you. I've just had a change of focus, and wasn't sure whether, or when, or how to address it on the blog. I'm not trying to lose weight right now. I'm pregnant.
I have been struggling with the "who to tell, when to tell" thing ever since I found out just over a week ago. On the one hand, with my first pregnancy at an "advanced maternal age", I am, naturally, at a somewhat increased risk for miscarriage. I don't want to have to tell dozens of people if that happens.
On the other hand, I had to tell the people I work with early, because I can't do certain kinds of cases anymore. (Very early pregnancy is an especially critical time for exposure to radiation and nitrous oxide.) And I have told my family, and a few close friends. But the blog? The blog, and my blog friends, are kind of different. Here I can talk about what I have been obsessing over ever since I found out. And if I am unfortunate and do lose this pregnancy, I can say it once and everyone here will know. Plus, someone might wonder why I'm not still trying to lose 15 pounds.
So, yes, I am excited and so is hubby. There is so much going on, trying to study for boards, finish school, and not barf in the middle of it all. I am hoping against hope that my nausea (which really just started a couple days ago) doesn't turn into vomiting, because I don't want to have to have the fill removed from my band. I know a lot of people do automatically. But because I have never had barfing or heartburn before, and because I can get plenty of calories the way I am (OBVIOUSLY, more than I need if not pregnant), I don't see why I can't let the band keep my weight gain to a reasonable amount. I am starting overweight, so if I can keep my weight gain to about 20-25 pounds I'd be happy. I doubt I can do that with an unfilled band, though. But if I have any barfing or reflux, I will have the band unfilled. And my OB may insist, when I see him in March, that I have it unfilled before the end of the first tri anyway, while they still can. We'll see.
In the midst of the exhaustion, the soreness, and the nausea, I am sharing my "secret" with the internet. I am so scatterbrained right now, I'm really having a hard time focusing on school at all. If all goes well, I am due Sept 26.