Weight Loss

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Thursday, March 28, 2013

Great News

I try not to share personal stuff about anyone but myself, as much as possible, but I do want to call out how proud I am of my hubby, without revealing too much. Yesterday my hubby had to travel to deal with some acrimonious legal dealings that have been stressing us out for a long time.  The good news is that he handled himself perfectly, the other party showed their true (crazy) colors for everyone to see, and the result was the best news for him and our family that we have had in a long time.

The bad news is that as he was checking into his hotel the night before, he slipped on a loose piece of carpet and fell down a flight of stairs.

So after he got home from the trip (knowing the whole time that he had broken his arm, but not wanting to miss the hearing he was there for) I took him to the ER, where we found out he broke his wrist and will need surgery.

Sigh.  Luckily I am recovered, but he is our daughter's primary caregiver while I am working, so this complicates things for us all.  Poor guy.  He's handling it all with a lot of grace, but it's difficult.

As for life with the sleeve, my weight loss is going great.  I'm still losing a couple pounds a week, which I am super happy about.  Right now I am at -32 lbs which is just over 10 lbs per month.  I am finding that I am less hungry than I was a couple months ago, which seems opposite of a lot of people's experience with the sleeve.  I am getting better at gauging how much to eat, but I still occasionally misjudge.  The hardest thing for me is not nibbling as I sit with my family after I know I am done eating.  I know the best thing would be to just get up, but I feel like our meals are abnormal enough, I want to be with my family when they eat.  But my habit is to keep "picking" and those extra 1 or 2 bites are almost always my downfall.

I feel really good, and really hopeful about the future, which is something that is a long time in coming.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

A-OK

Everything went fine, cyst is out, ovary intact.  I'm a bit sore but nothing that ibuprofen hasn't been able to handle.  I've just been taking it easy this weekend.  It's strange that this is the only sort of "excuse" I give myself for slowing down and taking it easy...why can't I just relax without it involving something like surgery?

It went very smoothly and I was in and out pretty quickly.  I was very happy to have an excellent team working with me.  And no nausea post op, thanks to my CRNA friend and coworker.

Now I'm trying not to pick up my 2 1/2 year old, but that is nearly impossible.  She is too young to understand any of my explanations.  I try to keep it minimal, but it was the same when I had my sleeve surgery.

I'm holding off weighing for a few days, until the fluid from the swelling dissipates.  I know most WLS people insist we shouldn't weigh daily, or even weekly.  But I have always found that daily weighing keeps me in a rhythm, and keeps me on top of any potential gains.  I've read that it is one thing that people who are successful long-term with weight loss do.  So I do it...but not when I KNOW it is going to be a temporary gain that will only demoralize me, and will go away on its own.

I did a lot of projects in front of the TV last night and today...finished a baby quilt, cut out blocks for another, finished a dish towel with snaps for the oven, etc.  Paid the bills.  Stayed at home on the couch as much as possible, although I did get out in the back yard during a sunny spell, and when I did I couldn't avoid finishing planting my summer dahlias and peonies (and the spring bulbs that I never planted last fall, and are sending up shoots already...dunno if those will bloom or not).  I just have to work in the garden if I have a chance.  I just finished replanting the shady side of the yard with shade-loving perennials.  The previous owners had "re-landscaped" the yard for an attempt at selling the house before we rented it, and had planted that side with things that were not appropriate for shade, and as a result there were a few straggly sticks with a few leaves hanging onto them, scattered around.  Now there are hellebores, bleeding hearts, hostas, bear's breeches, primroses, and a backdrop of 3 hydrangeas to fill in the shady side.  I'm excited to see them fill in over the next few years.   (I'm not normally a big fan of primroses, but they were the only thing that survived from the previous planting, and they have been there for at least 3 years, so I added some more to keep them company.)

I guess it's obvious that I don't sit still very well.

Friday, March 22, 2013

-30

Weight loss has been going well recently.  I'm losing slowly but steadily, finally down 30 lbs--yay!  I should take some more pictures.  It's almost time for measurements as well--I do them at the beginning of the month.

I still have my moments when I wish I could eat more than 1/4 cup of food.  But they are just moments.  Mostly I am just grateful for my sleeve, which is helping me realize my health goals.  

Today I don't have to worry about that for a while--I'm having my surgery on my ovary today.  I have a friend and colleague providing my anesthesia, for which I am grateful.  I'm happy to work in a department in which I would really trust anyone in it to provide anesthesia for me or my family.  But it is nice to be able to choose, especially when I didn't really want any of my male coworkers in there.  We are heading out as soon as hubby gets dressed.  Lucy will spend the day at school, and I'll go home this afternoon.


Friday, March 15, 2013

Keeping it Real

I guess my bikini modelling days are behind me...I'll have my third laproscopic surgery next Friday, to remove that cyst.  I could have taken a wait-and-watch approach, but the idea of ovarian torsion is kind of scary to me, and some days the thing hurts quite a bit.  I will feel better when it is just gone.  Of course, there is that vain part of me that doesn't want to see any inevitable weight gain post op, even if it is just temporary water retention.... But beyond that, I'm not really concerned about it.  The cyst is likely to be an adenoma, which is a benign tumor.

Weight loss is plugging along.  I try not to compare myself to others, which is hard.  My appointment with my surgeon a few weeks ago was fine, and he was pleased with my success so far.  I have heard that being a lap band revision often means a slower weight loss.  I don't know how often that is true, but it makes sense to me that I lost a lot of lean body mass in the process of weight loss, graduate school and pregnancy, and losing weight now is a little harder because of the resulting slower metabolism.  Plus I am older now.  So, I'm trying to take it in stride and be happy for my 1.5-2 lb per week loss, which is still better than I ever did with the band.

I am starting to see a difference in the mirror and in photos.  I'll post one sometime.  I definitely have more energy.  I still have a hard time consistently finding time to run, but the FitBit is encouraging me to go for a walk if I haven't gotten my goal for steps yet, and getting more stairs in as well.  I do think those kinds of incidental activities do help as well.

I read an article today about the queens of mommy blogging.  Actually, I first read a link my hubby sent me about dad blogging, something I've been encouraging him to do since he is the full-time caregiver for our daughter now.  And the article linked to a NY Times article about those power mommy bloggers, particularly Dooce and Pioneer Woman.  I didn't realize just how lucrative Dooce.com is for that family--seriously lucrative, in excess of $1 million a year.  But it got me thinking about the kinds of narratives that have made certain blogs relatable and thus, popular.  You just have to be willing to share everything about yourself, or seem like you are sharing everything.  There is a cost.  If I was willing to do it, I could probably sell our family's daily life story and have a more compelling blog, perhaps even one that made some money.  Weight loss surgery is almost an afterthought around here.  There's my career, there's our family experience with addiction, our nontraditional family approach with me working outside the home and my husband caring for our daughter and our home.  My hubby's life alone was interesting before he even met me.  And two-year-olds are actually pretty interesting.  Ours is hilarious.  But at what cost?  There is a lot of stuff that goes on around here that I'm sure people could relate to and might even find compelling.  But there are costs to losing that privacy, and they are too high for me (not that I am such a fantastic writer anyway...I don't think I have that kind of "voice").  It is very interesting to consider though.  I think most of the blogs out there are kind of like this one: they mainly exist for ourselves, a few people find them because they have similar interests, or they are friends or family who are interested for personal reasons, and they are just out there.  I am careful not to overshare, especially about hubby or my little girl.  The internets are forever, yo.

But I can share about one of the most intimately personal parts of life, my struggles with my weight.  So here I am, keeping it real about trying to lose weight and get healthier.  It's funny, in a way.