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Friday, June 18, 2010

New adventures in the Rose City

We are moved, but not really settled. We've been here about 3 weeks now. I'm about 85% unpacked. That last 15% is the really annoying part...stuff you haven't really found a place for, things put in their general area but not organized. It probably won't all be done before I go back to work in a couple weeks.

I've found with this move that my tolerance for the stress is lower, and my energy is a lot lower. I can only work for a couple hours before having to rest. My belly gets tight and sore, and I get very tired. I guess it goes with the territory, but as many times as I've moved before without these issues, it is a little frustrating. The move itself was the most stressful one I've ever done. Issues with movers, lots of stuff to move 400 miles, having to pay more money than we actually had, etc. At the end of 28 months of grad school, we are broke as a joke. It will nice to start getting a paycheck again.

Baby seems to be doing well...kicking a lot. I worried for so many weeks that I wasn't feeling movement when I thought I should be. Yes, I know it's my first baby, and I started out a little bit heavy, and like most women at this stage of pregnancy I have an anterior placenta still, so all of these things add up to not feeling much movement for a while. But she's moving and shaking now. It's startling to see my whole belly just move on its own every now and then. Fun, and yet alien in a way.

The day we moved to Portland, everyone in town informed us that it had been raining for about 2 months straight. People here have been going crazy with the lack of sunshine. We continued to have about 2 more weeks of straight rain, and we've only had a couple sunny days in between. I've lived in this before, and I will take it over having to shovel snow in the winter. But the sun is out today, which is lovely.

I went for a walk today (or should I say a waddle), to get outside and relieve some of the restlessness and boredom. I probably walked a couple miles, although I can't tell because my pedometer website is down. I'm showing enough now that people smile at me when they see me. People love to see pregnant women. I don't think most of them (perhaps even the ones who have been pregnant themselves) realize that the pregnant lady is often feeling rather bewildered by the whole state of things. At least, based on my own experience and my interactions with other expecting moms. It often feels like I've been abducted by aliens and returned, but just not quite the same as before. I feel looser and clumsier and slower, and of course bigger.

And it's amazing how 3 months can seem so far away, and yet so frighteningly near. It's not fear of childbirth, or having a newborn. It's feeling unprepared, in about every way possible. We aren't even close to ready to bring a baby home...no furniture, almost no stuff. No money. And that's just the material aspect of it. And I'm not startled by the idea of having a baby, but when I see a 5th grader, or a teenager, I realize I will have one of those, too...and that is very startling. Even thinking about potty training a toddler seems impossibly distant, or just impossible.

Most of all, I guess I'm lonely. My husband is mostly working from home, and working ridiculously long hours. I think I see less of him than if he worked full time for a company. I'm not working yet, so I don't see many people. I've reconnected with a few friends in the area, but not many. My supportive community I built up in Spokane is now far away. And pregnancy can be a lonely time, I am finding. While lots of other people have experienced it, it can still be an isolating experience, and very individual. I'm lucky that I've been healthy throughout it all, and my baby shows no signs of problems. But I'd like to see some people now!