I am missing my boring, normal life I used to have. It seemed boring and normal to me--in fact a lot was going on without my knowledge, but I miss the ignorance-is-bliss part, anyway. Even though I am all about the Truth these days and knowing what is really happening, tonight I'm having a weak moment and wishing for what I don't have.
Legal troubles abound for hubby. He's in serious trouble, without going into details. It's hard to watch him go through this, and hard to have all this uncertainty for us both. I am afraid of the financial fallout for us both over the next several years. Whatever he has to do as the consequences of his actions, that is just what it is. Karma is a real thing, and I'm grateful that he is facing everything with a clear head and no illusions (or delusions) about it. He's trying to remind me that while a lot of bad things are happening right now, some good things will happen too. I do appreciate that.
I've missed more school time--Friday and Monday--and I hate that. I feel so behind, even though I'm not really, and I hate for the CRNAs to frequently see me marked off the schedule. I think I'm not that much fun to hang out with in the OR, either, because I'm so freaking stressed about things these days that I don't make any small talk or chit chat while we sit together (not all of anesthesia is exciting or busy stuff, surprisingly). I don't have energy for it, and so be it. Mostly I try to lay low and get as much out of my clinical time as I can.
There is something good coming up. I am going to D.C. in April for our national organization's annual political meeting. We meet with senators and talk about healthcare and nurse anesthesia. It's pretty cool. I discovered, upon looking through my closet last week, that none of my business clothes fit anymore. The suit I interviewed in for school is a size 18. Needless to say, that isn't going to work this year. So, despite both of us being unemployed, I had to find some business clothes.
I got some good deals at the outlet mall (Presidents' Day sale) and got some pants on sale elsewhere. All in all, I actually got quite a bit for the amount of money I spent, and now I have two suits (size 8) and all I need to meet Congresspeople and the leaders in my profession. The trip itself is paid for by our state organization, WANA, which generously allots money in their budget each year to send students from our program to this meeting. One great thing about our professional organizations is that they work hard to include socialization and political education about our profession when we are in school. It's very important to maintain our profession and assure that quality care is going to continue to be available to people who need it. There are other groups that would like to see us limited in scope of practice, which would put a lot of people whose areas are served only by nurse anesthetists at serious disadvantage. So the political stuff is important, and I'm excited to go to this meeting. Plus I've always wanted to go to DC. There will be lots of pictures!