Onderland!

This weekend I quietly slipped into Onederland. For anyone who hasn't ever weighed over 200 lbs and tried to lose weight, "Onederland" refers to the magical wonderland where the first digit of your weight starts with a 1. Maybe that's obvious, I dunno. Anyway, it's a great milestone, but I really didn't give it a lot of thought like I thought I would. I am now 1 lb from my halfway mark, which is 37 lbs lost. It does feel good when I think about it.

Everything is winding down for us here in Stumptown. I find myself looking around a lot and trying to remember the things I love about Portland. I'm sure we'll end up back here eventually, but I don't know when. Starting school is getting more real, and more scary, every day. My program is going to be incredibly challenging in many ways, not just academically but also for our personal life as a couple, for me no longer being a financially contributing partner in our marriage, and in a time management sense, trying to manage having enough time for classes, studying, fitness and quality time with hubby. That's not even taking into account any attempts to continue with my glass art! I don't know if THAT will happen at all or not. But I'm trying not to worry about it. It's exciting to go back to school and start something challenging and stimulating. And I love the prospect of being able to earn more money in a career that I think I will enjoy, and getting closer to fulfilling my dream of having a family of my own and a real home. My life has been interesting so far, and while it's tough that I'll be trying to have a family when I'm getting close to the end of my reproductive years, I wouldn't change the experiences I've had for anything. I couldn't have done all the things I've done in life if I had had children in my 20s (even if I had that option...I didn't have a partner to have children with back then).

This past year has been a personally challenging one for my hubby and me, but I think we've done well with the difficulties we've had to face together, and we're stronger for it. I'm especially proud of my hubby in the way that he's dealt with so much stress this year. He's such a strong person, and so supportive and kind. I just love him to pieces! Thanks sweetie. :)

Almost Halfway There

It's official, I am 34 lbs down and 40 lbs from goal! This Thursday will be 6 months exactly since my surgery. When I look back and consider that in my last successful attempt at weight loss, through Weight Watchers, I lost the same amount of weight but it took me 13 months, I feel very successful. I have lost weight proportionately, but enough that everyone notices now, even those who see me every day. After making halfway, my next milestone is another 13 lbs, when I will be at the weight I was when I met my husband. It's hard to believe that I gained almost 50 lbs since August 2004. That took about 3 1/2 years!

Other things fill my days than weight loss. I will be resigning my position at work in November, which is just around the corner. We will move to Spokane and I will start preparing to embark on my next professional goal, becoming a CRNA. My good friends Jon and Shannon both got in to anesthesia school in Florida, and they start a month after I do. I feel like we will all be going to school together, even though we will be on opposite coasts. I continue to make glass beads. I have made a lot of progress in my work this summer. I hope to get around to photographing the beads and selling them one of these times, but there are a lot of glass artists selling beads these days. I'd like to just be able to support my hobby; it's quite expensive. Hubby and I continue along, spending most days just with each other when we are not working. We have our bumps along the way, but we are fortunate to have a very loving and playful relationship.

This summer has been brief, but good. As far as the band goes, I have only had 2 fills this summer--in June and about 2 weeks ago. I had lost a great amount of weight at my June appointment, so Dr Jan had me come back in 2 months, but I came back sooner when my weight loss stalled again. When I saw the PA, Patrick, for the first time, he took out the fluid before filling me, saw I only had 2.1 cc rather than the 2.7 that should have been there, filled me to 2.6, and here I am. I think I could use a little more of a tweak--some days my restriction is pretty good, others I feel hungry a lot. It's never "tight"--I've never felt like I might get something stuck or had a hard time getting any kind of food down. I've never had reflux or vomited for any reason. I've never had a single difficulty with my band, actually, just difficulty finding the "sweet spot" of restriction. Yet, still I am losing weight, and I don't feel like I am dieting, so I call it success. I have to resist comparing my weight loss to anyone else's because I know I am a slow loser, and I know I'm doing the best I can. I work out at least 6 hours a week, and I eat 1000-1100 kcal per day. I have a healthy diet, I eat enough protein, and I'm not dehydrated. I'm doing the things I'm supposed to do and I am losing weight; almost 6 lbs per month, which is perfect. So I would say that things are going very well with me and the Band.

Maybe another 13 lbs by Thanksgiving? Who knows?

Real, Honest-to-Gosh Restriction

I knew I was very, very close to the Sweet Spot. I could smell its cologne. I had decent restriction before, but thought maybe just a tiny bit more would do the trick. Indeed, 0.2cc was the magic number for me. Today I didn't even really think about food. Weird! No sickness, no reflux, no heartburn. And full for 4-5 hours. Nice!

The Fat Clinic

I think that it must be interesting to work in a bariatric clinic during the summertime, when all the folks who have started losing weight are coming in fresh of the hottie press in their stretched, smaller-size summer threads. The gals at the front desk of my clinic don't seem to notice. Maybe they are professionals about it all, or maybe just bored. None of them are obese. Maybe some of them have had surgery, but I doubt it. They all seem about 20 years old. Anyway, when I went in for my appointment today I felt kind of like that, in my summer sundress and sandals, 27 lbs lighter and straight from the gym.

I met the new surgical fellow, a nice Indian man whom I liked much better than Dr Stinky, who was Dr Hong's fellow when I had my surgery. He was very thorough in his history and assessment, but unfortunately could not access my port to do my tiny 0.2cc fill. Dr Jan was there too, and he had no problem--this was actually the first time anyone has had trouble getting into my port, but the only people to try before were Drs. Hong and Jan, and they are experienced. I just hope and pray that the jabs (which were north of my port, or closer to my head, therefore closer to the tubing) did not puncture the tubing and start a leak. Water went down fine, and I went home.

I did get wiser this time, and schedule my fill late in the day rather than early. Why spend the whole day hungry? :) Dr Jan was pleased with my 9 lb loss since my last appointment 5 weeks ago. My next appointment is in 7 weeks, which is early September. Nice! I get the rest of the summer "off", so to speak. Hopefully I post another nice weight loss by then and can cruise like this for a while. 7 weeks, I should be able to manage at least 10 lbs more by then.

Adjustment

I just updated my stats in the Excel spreadsheet I'm using to track my weight loss. I realized that the day before surgery my weight was 2 lbs higher than what I have been using as my start weight, so I decided to use that as my start weight. It seemed more accurate when looking at my spreadsheet. Of course, it helps that it makes my weight loss look better too. :) Can't complain about that.

I have an appointment Monday with Dr Jan, my 'replacement' surgeon (since my surgeon Dr Hong left the practice and moved back to Canada). It's about 5 weeks since my last fill. I have lost about 5 lbs in the last 3 weeks. I get hungry about 4 hours after a meal. I have never vomited one time since having my band placed, or gotten food stuck in my stoma. I am not sure if he will want to fill my band some more or not. If he does, it would be a very small fill, I would think. I think things are going very well for me right now, and I don't want to screw it up. I work out about 4 days a week, get plenty of protein and veggies, and am losing weight.

I am lucky that I am not terribly picky about what I eat, and I like a lot of things, especially healthy foods. My mom did a great job in giving us kids a lot of variety in our diet and a lot of healthy foods growing up. We all like to eat nutritious food (we like junk food too, but still) and we don't turn up our noses at much of anything. I think that has made the band journey a lot easier for me than for some people. I actually have changed very little about the way I eat since being banded. Now I am more careful about eating protein, and I obviously eat smaller portions. I also try my best not to eat when I am not physically hungry. That's a daily struggle, as is drinking enough water. I try not to eat as many sweets, but I don't avoid them entirely. I am more conscious of the fact that eating sugar reinforces the sugar addiction and causes a crash that makes me crave more sugar later; it's a vicious cycle that I try my best to avoid. I don't always make the best choices, but I do get back on the horse after I fall off, and I can get back on track more easily than I could before having the band.

The Loser's Bench

Today was spent at ACLS class, or Advanced Cardiac Life Support. This certification is required every two years for certain health care providers. Those who are familiar with it know it is a pain in the butt. 8 hours of class going over familiar material that has been altered ever so slightly each year by the American Heart Association, ending with a test and a "Mega Code" in which each tester has to be the leader for a scenario that the instructor walks each leader through, going from one type of cardiac arrhythmia algorithm to another and recognizing which one you are in and going through the correct steps. It's nerve racking for most folks, and annoying for everyone. But it must be done, and my time was up. Afterward I went to the gym.

I continue to lose weight, to my constant amazement and delight. I have lost 23 lbs now. I am happy with this so far. I get hungry about 4 hours after eating a meal, but I never get extremely hungry. The hardest thing for me continues to be not grazing on treats at work. At work the best thing for me seems to be spreading out my lunch over the whole shift so I have something to snack on instead of treats. If there is a potluck, I make the best choices I can and don't go back. Some days it works better than others.

This turtle is moving!

We started a little group on the Lap Band forum on OH.com called "The Turtle Club" for those of us who feel like we are losing slower than average. It's kinda fun, and a little bit motivating. I've been stuck gaining and losing the same 3 lbs for the last month and it's been really frustrating. But this morning, voila! Finally down to 22lb weight loss. Yes! Especially since this weekend we went to 2 parties, and another one last night. But it feels good to lose again.

What have I done differently? I'm trying to drink more water, but that is still difficult for me. I took a class at the gym 2 times this week, called the NIA technique, to change up my usual routine. And I've been tracking what I eat more closely on fitday.com. That seems to help. And I've been tapering off of my antidepressant, so hopefully that will help me stop holding on to a little of that weight. If I find I still need one, even though it's summer and sunny outside (my primary problem is S.A.D.) my doc gave me a script for Effexor to try that might work without as much weight problem. So. I'm getting through my first plateau! Yay me.

Weighty life

My update is...the same. I am still bouncing around the 20 lb weight loss. I'm trying to do a few things to get moving again:
1. Drink all my water--this will always be a challenge for me
2. Change my workouts--I do an hour of cardio 5 days a week, but I'll do different things
3. Eat out less. This is a real challenge, as hubby and I both enjoy eating out.
4. Worry less.

I got my third fill, and I do have some decent restriction, and stay full for 4-5 hours. I still eat about 1200 cal a day, try to keep it closer to 1000 but that is hard to do still. I don't chart this daily, more like once or twice a week, just to "check in". Tonight we did go out--it was a beautiful, 70 degree June night in Portland, and we went to a favorite Cuban restaurant, Pambiche, to eat outside on their sidewalk. I had part of a sangria and he had a mojito, and we split an appetizer platter of 1 leek and cheese empanada and some yam fritters, and split a pan pescado, Cuban style fish sandwich with snapper and avocado. I ate mine open-face and left the top part of the bread on the plate (ok, I nibbled the edge a bit). And I experienced my "soft stop", a cross between a sigh and almost a burp. But we did split a dessert too. It was probably more calories than I needed, but it was lovely.

While I'm not experiencing a lot of scale victories currently, I do have oodles more energy than I did before surgery. I'm eating healthfully, getting lots of exercise, and looking trimmer. My mood is better overall as is my ability to withstand stress. I'd have to say I am on the right track. Hopefully the scale complies soon!

Beady life

A couple of weekends ago I had the great pleasure of taking an intermediate beadmaking class from the famous Val Cox, lampworker extraordinaire and purveyor of COE 96 glass frits (what's that?). The class was held at the Eugene Glass School, a relatively new school teaching all levels of flameworking, hot shop and other glass arts. The class was loads of fun, just 9 students, most of whom had more experience than I in beadmaking (I have been doing it for 5 years, although not "seriously" until 6 months ago). We learned tons of techniques and theory and got lots of torch time. The beads I made were not great, but I've been working on technique and shaping a bit since then and have gotten better, I think. Eugene is about 1 1/2 hours south of Portland. Hubby and I stayed at the Eugene Whiteaker Hostel, where we enjoyed the hippy vibe and friendly people, if not the squishy, squeaky bed. It was a really nice weekend, spent partly with my college age sister-in-law and her friend.

Val's website (above link) sells some of her furnace glass frit and is home to her lovely, photo-heavy blog (she has a beautiful country home and is a talented photographer). Her sister's website sells the majority of her glass frit: http://www.valcoxfrit.com/ . But, in addition to Val's blog, where you really should turn your attention (unless you have an interest in COE 96 glass frit, which you might) is her sister's blog. Her sister Sabrina is also a great photographer and offers an equally lovely vision of rural American life. Check 'em out, and don't ever say I didn't do anything nice for y'all.

(Val Cox beads, photos by Val Cox, and fiddlehead ferns, photo by Sabrina)

Slow down, ya move too fast...

I guess that time has come in my WLS blog where my posts start to slow down dramatically. There isn't much to report, really. I'm down 21 lbs in 14 weeks, or -1.3 lbs/week. That is perfect, according to the experts, but it feels very slow. There has been a lot going on in the last few weeks for me, a bit of stress, so I guess I'm happy to still be losing. This week I felt like I was eating everything, despite my fill on Monday (#3, for a total of 2.7cc in my 4cc band). We had going away potlucks at work, tons of sugar, and my husband and I have been eating out a lot lately. There is only one mantra that has helped me to avoid snacking on food that is out for general consumption at work: I tell myself, I can eat when I am hungry. If I'm hungry, go ahead and have some of that food, but if I'm not hungry, I try not to eat. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.

Actually, according to the current science, we all are hardwired to obsess about food, as is nicely summed up in this Time magazine article from last week. Some of us do it more than others. I guess it was only a matter of time in the course of human civilization that the combination of food obsession and industrialization eventually produced an environment where we can pour high calorie, low nutrient foods down our throats all day while sitting on our ever-widening backsides.

Speaking of wide backsides, I went to a support group meeting last week for lap band people, and I doubt I'll ever go back. I brought hubby this time so he could see what it was about. While this one was worse than most, they all are pretty banal, actually, and not very useful. When you have a support group with pre op and post op people of widely varying experience, you end up with a lot of time that is not useful to most people in the room. There were two women there who pretty much dominated the conversation--one with her helpful tips on what protein shake is best, along with other gems of dubious usefulness, and the other who is pre op but repeatedly reminds everyone that "I have a food and nutrition degree" and talks about her time in "nurse's training" which almost always means either, a.) she is a nursing assistant or b.) she got kicked out of nursing school and had to settle for the nutrition degree. I'm guessing (b) in this case. About the time that the back part of the table got completely derailed from the main conversation and kibbitzed about the best protein shakes for 15 minutes, we decided to walk out, and had sushi down the street instead. I think I get much more support and useful info from OH.com than I do from those "support group" meetings.