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Saturday, January 17, 2009

Leaving tomorrow's worries for tomorrow...

I am in Portland. I am taking one day at a time, and trying to learn about detachment. I am trying to keep my primary focus on myself, the only person over whom I have any control.

Hubby is still in the hospital, but now voluntarily. I think he plans to stay until tomorrow. His mood is more stable, it seems. The various treatments seem to help. We are moving forward a day at a time. I don't know what will happen in our marriage, but that isn't a decision I have to make today, thankfully.

Still not much appetite...but I have been running a bit, just a couple of miles a day. Just enough to still my mind and relieve some stress. I think I am hovering around 165 right now (from 177 2 weeks ago) but I haven't weighed in a couple of days. I am eating more than I was last week, which is good. We will both move back to Spokane when hubby is released, and he will start treatment there. I don't know if this will remain a good situation for us both long-term, but again, I don't have to decide that right now. At the present time, it seems best for both of us.

I'm working on my own stuff now, and am less emotional than I have been for the past week. I guess that could be good or bad. But so far I'm happy to report that I'm making it, and trying to make the best decisions that I can.


Diz said...

That's all you can do for right now. Don't knock detachment...sometimes it's a lifesaver. No matter what happens...you WILL make it. You are making it..one day at a time.

She Smiles said...

You're an amazing woman Gwen. And how ever this all pans out, you will still be the strong, beautiful, smart woman you are. You will ALWAYS have that.

favorite said...

"what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger." i am truely impressed with the way you are dealing with this. i am sure when your husband gets well he will forever be grateful for the woman he married.

Diz said...

Hey Gwenie Gwen...Been thinking about you. Hope you're keeping your head above water. We're here for you!