I had a long day today, after a long weekend of studying. Got up early, class from 8-12 then from 1230-1330. Mondays kill me, they start early and hard with Jackie's Physiology class, our most difficult of the four we are taking this term. They usually follow a long weekend of sleeping in and studying a lot, trying to prepare for class Monday so the entire lecture doesn't go over my head. Today it did anyway, and I was not the only one. The level of detail we are supposed to know on so little lecture is astounding. Plus, we got our midterms back from last week, and yes, I did pass, but my grade hardly reflected how hard I studied for the exam, nor did it reflect what I had felt was my understanding of the materiel. But, to make us all feel a little better, she told us the other class she is teaching, which is ARNP students, did much worse on their first exam (which is essentially the same) and on their second. So, I don't know what to make of all that.
I had to leave Principles early to go to an appointment with a new nurse practitioner that will be my primary care provider in Spokane. She was fantastic. Her name is Teresa Colley and she was very thorough and personable and kind. I was impressed by the level of her knowledge and she treated each of the problems I presented (just two) with a good mix of practicality and thoroughness that I liked. Her clinic is Grace Clinic in Spokane, and it is a ARNP-only practice that she appears to own. (A relative of hers is the office manager, I think it might be her sister but I'm not certain.) I like the seriousness and concern for exhausting all avenues that I get from nurse practitioners, and I like supporting advanced practice nursing, especially since I am working towards that goal myself. It is tough being a licenced independent provider in a world owned by doctors, especially in a town like Spokane, which is surprisingly unfriendly to advanced practice nurses, given the number of masters programs it has.
So, after all of that, I went to the Y to do my run, at minimum. I'm still sort of making all this up as I go along. I do know that I want to continue to increase the amount of time I can run in a stretch, and eventually the speed, and I want to avoid injuring myself in the process. I make little deals with myself as I go along. Today my deal came at the start of my third running interval: if I did 5 minutes consecutively for the last one, I was done. If I only did 4, I would have to do another 2 minute interval to finish. I was proud that I ended up doing the first one of 7 minutes, walked 5, ran 5, walked 4, and ran 5. 17 total minutes I have done before, but that 7 minute initial stretch was great. I felt a little emotional after it was over. I thought about where I was last year at this time, waiting for surgery and worried that it might not work at all. I was working out already and had been for a year, and frankly I thought I was doing pretty well. I was doing 45-60 minutes of cardio 5 days a week. But it was at a much lower intensity than I am doing now. Today I marveled that I am able to run at all, and I don't want to die at the end of it. I felt grateful to my lap band, and grateful to myself for improving my life the way I have in the past year. I thought about it a little bit in terms of a dharma, or lesson of wisdom, about running from pain versus accepting it and running anyway. Pain and pleasure are opposites that rule our lives these days, and obsession with both--avoiding pain, seeking pleasure--only causes more suffering for ourselves and those around us. Here I was, running when I could be sitting on my couch (I could even be reading my many textbooks and making myself feel good for the decision), and while I can't say that I was loving every minute of it, I was certainly loving the fact that I could do it at all, that I didn't want to die the whole time, and that it was changing my body and helping me become healthy enough to do the things I want and need to do with my life. I thought about my life today versus 6 months ago--I am out of the ICU forever, in graduate school, much thinner, and really relishing my life, as frustrating as it can be sometimes in its circumstances. I'm sure endorphins had something to do with all of this gratitude, but maybe that's part of why people get addicted to running in the first place.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Pictures and Procrastination
I have been studying all weekend, and I'm tired of it. I know I signed up for this. I know I'm not missing much in the way of a weekend anyway--I'm in Spokane, the only people I know here are studying also. My husband is in Portland and has been for over a week. But still, I want to be doing something other than what I have been doing, which has included:
I did get outside briefly today, went to REI to look at clearance snowshoes. I found a pair for myself and they are quite nice. The price was reasonable, not earth-shatteringly low but good enough, and comparable to what is being found used on Craigslist. And they are Atlas, the good kind. Nice bindings. I HOPE that we don't have more snow this year, and I can just leave them in the closet until about November or so. But they are real purdy.
1. Reading about the immune system and compiling study question answers with my classmates
2. Writing notecards for Pharmacology (quiz on Weds)
3. Finishing take-home exam for Principles of Anesthesia
4. STARTING a paper for Theories of Adult Education, which technically I probably should have started like a week ago, since I took the snowshoeing class for it like 3 weeks ago, and it's due Tuesday.
5. Bidding on Ebay...wha? Yep, it's true. Girlfriend needs smaller bras, and I'm a grad student now and can't be buying the ones I like (Body by Victoria) for full price ($51! each!).
That paper is what is up on my screen right now, MS Word and my cover page, started. That's it. I need to get cracking.
I did get outside briefly today, went to REI to look at clearance snowshoes. I found a pair for myself and they are quite nice. The price was reasonable, not earth-shatteringly low but good enough, and comparable to what is being found used on Craigslist. And they are Atlas, the good kind. Nice bindings. I HOPE that we don't have more snow this year, and I can just leave them in the closet until about November or so. But they are real purdy.
Took a few progress photos today. Proof that I fit in size 8 jeans (now the proud owner of 2 pairs). I tried on skirts at Target the other day...didn't buy any, but the size 8 pencil skirts did fit. That's another tick in the "really a size 8" column. I'm pretty sure the last time I fit into this size I was smaller than I am now. That was at least 15 years ago, so I guess we can chalk that up to the obesity epidemic in the United States. We all know what happens...you just have to buy that dress because it's a size smaller than you usually wear, no matter what it costs or whether you actually like it or not. It works for the Gap, anyway. American women are very predictable.
Here are the pics.
Here are the pics.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Damn Notes
My hands hurt from writing notes from my Physiology text. Why am I doing this? Because I learn so much better than when I just read and underline the text. About two dozen times I looked up from that book and cursed its author (who happens to be our instructor) for including so freaking many details that we will DEFINITELY be tested on. Argh. But I know a couple more things about the immune system and in particular autoimmune disorders and hypersensitivity reactions than I did yesterday. Aren't you glad? It doesn't have a whole lot to do with putting you to sleep so someone else can cut you open, but hey. It doesn't help to think that way NOW.
Found a new blog (during a study break...I'm allowed, ok?) called Half of Me. Link is in the sidebar (under Other WLS). It's not really new, she's already lost 200 lbs so the ship has sailed, really. But it's interesting, she's a good writer, and she likes to run, so I find that relevent. Here's a comic stolen from her blog, which she borrowed from xkcd.com. (Here's the really neato Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial license that makes it all okay.)
Tasty vs. Easy, an illustrated fruit graph:
Found a new blog (during a study break...I'm allowed, ok?) called Half of Me. Link is in the sidebar (under Other WLS). It's not really new, she's already lost 200 lbs so the ship has sailed, really. But it's interesting, she's a good writer, and she likes to run, so I find that relevent. Here's a comic stolen from her blog, which she borrowed from xkcd.com. (Here's the really neato Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial license that makes it all okay.)
Tasty vs. Easy, an illustrated fruit graph:
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
My Weight Loss Surgery Is Better Than Yours
Ugh, I am just so tired of reading these things. It's everywhere in the online WLS community. We are all so excited to have had this surgery that changed our lives, and some of us have to become walking billboards trumpeting how AMAZING the surgery we had is, and You Should Have It Too!! There are statistics everywhere for each of the main surgeries, supporting each one. "The research proves that my WLS is better than yours!"
Please. They all succeed, they all fail. It's more dependent on how you use it, how much personal responsibility you take, and how closely you matched your own (honestly assessed) personal situation with what the surgery can do. Also there's a little bit of luck in there. People don't ask to become reactive hypoglycemics, or for their lap bands to slip while lifting heavy furniture. That stuff you can't really plan for or avoid.
The worst is on Obesity Help, or I suppose on any board that throws all the WLS players into the same playpen. It gets ugly. My god, does it get ugly. WTF is that about? My personal take is that each of the available procedures is right for someone, and none is right for everyone. They all have their own drawbacks, their own advantages, their own particular quirks and risks. None of them are really proven in the real long term--like 40 or 50 years--and this is generally considered okay, because the morbidly obese won't survive very long if they don't change anyway, right? (That's a trick question. There are lots of pretty healthy MO people out there, despite what the weight loss industry, including medical and surgical weight loss, would have you think. And there are a lot of people who were healthier BEFORE their WLS than after.)
So don't quote me anything about what "the research shows" because the jury is not back yet, and there are dozens of contradictory studies out there. And the research doesn't really matter if you don't do your own part with your own surgery. This has a chance of failing for everyone--because, well, this is life, and nothing is certain, or permanent. Especially not "permanent weight loss."
Please. They all succeed, they all fail. It's more dependent on how you use it, how much personal responsibility you take, and how closely you matched your own (honestly assessed) personal situation with what the surgery can do. Also there's a little bit of luck in there. People don't ask to become reactive hypoglycemics, or for their lap bands to slip while lifting heavy furniture. That stuff you can't really plan for or avoid.
The worst is on Obesity Help, or I suppose on any board that throws all the WLS players into the same playpen. It gets ugly. My god, does it get ugly. WTF is that about? My personal take is that each of the available procedures is right for someone, and none is right for everyone. They all have their own drawbacks, their own advantages, their own particular quirks and risks. None of them are really proven in the real long term--like 40 or 50 years--and this is generally considered okay, because the morbidly obese won't survive very long if they don't change anyway, right? (That's a trick question. There are lots of pretty healthy MO people out there, despite what the weight loss industry, including medical and surgical weight loss, would have you think. And there are a lot of people who were healthier BEFORE their WLS than after.)
So don't quote me anything about what "the research shows" because the jury is not back yet, and there are dozens of contradictory studies out there. And the research doesn't really matter if you don't do your own part with your own surgery. This has a chance of failing for everyone--because, well, this is life, and nothing is certain, or permanent. Especially not "permanent weight loss."
10 things
Some of these things might not be very original, but they are unique to me and not that well known to many others.
1. I have a crazy memory for numbers. I remember numbers forever. I can still remember my childhood phone number (588-1317), my college apartment phone number (545-3837, hello 1993) and my house phone from my first marriage, 10 years ago (762-6258). I remember the 16 digit number of my last 3 ATM cards and my Visa card... and some other credit card numbers that I haven't used in a couple of years. In fact, it took me over 2 years of having a new Master padlock for the gym to stop trying my old padlock combination on it, which I haven't used since about 1995. True story.
2. I am the first member of my generation in my family to get a college degree. I might end up being the only one in my generation to get my master's. My father and his mother both have masters' degrees, and my maternal grandfather had a doctorate in botany. In fact, all four of my grandparents graduated from college, which is fairly unusual for their generation, especially for both of my grandmothers (one is 87 and the other would be 101 this year) and my paternal grandfather, who is a farmer.
3. I had a sister who died before I was born. She had severe birth defects from a medication my mother had been prescribed for severe morning sickness, and died at 11 months old.
4. I lived in Washington state for the first 29 years of my life, and I have never been skiing.
5. I met my husband on Match.com. Thanks, Match!
6. I do not let go of relationships with people I care about easily. I am still friends with most of my ex-boyfriends, and still maintain contact with my former mother-in-law (ex's mom), with whom I always had a wonderful relationship. This has nothing to do with keeping any flame alive, but everything to do with valuing the good people that I have come in contact with in my life.
7. Along the same vein, I still have a penpal that I first started corresponding with when we were both 8 years old. Her name is Nancy, she grew up in Brooklyn when I was growing up in Tacoma WA, and we are about 2 weeks apart in age. She is now a PhD and works in the field of economics of developing countries. We have only met in person one time, when we were in college in the early 90s.
8. I went on my first diet when I was 11 years old. I lost 25 lbs. Within 2 years, I was bulemic, but I outgrew it in high school.
9. When I was in nursing school, I also sang in my college concert choir, which had 80 members. I was an alto II. We recorded two CDs while I was in the group, and they still make me teary sometimes when I listen to the recordings.
10. When I was a teenager, I planned on being a violin performance major. I changed that to music therapy when I was a senior in high school, but after getting a scholarship and graduating, I decided (wisely) that I wasn't ready for college yet, and ended up taking a year off before completely switching gears to nursing. It was a good decision, both the year off and the nursing degree.
1. I have a crazy memory for numbers. I remember numbers forever. I can still remember my childhood phone number (588-1317), my college apartment phone number (545-3837, hello 1993) and my house phone from my first marriage, 10 years ago (762-6258). I remember the 16 digit number of my last 3 ATM cards and my Visa card... and some other credit card numbers that I haven't used in a couple of years. In fact, it took me over 2 years of having a new Master padlock for the gym to stop trying my old padlock combination on it, which I haven't used since about 1995. True story.
2. I am the first member of my generation in my family to get a college degree. I might end up being the only one in my generation to get my master's. My father and his mother both have masters' degrees, and my maternal grandfather had a doctorate in botany. In fact, all four of my grandparents graduated from college, which is fairly unusual for their generation, especially for both of my grandmothers (one is 87 and the other would be 101 this year) and my paternal grandfather, who is a farmer.
3. I had a sister who died before I was born. She had severe birth defects from a medication my mother had been prescribed for severe morning sickness, and died at 11 months old.
4. I lived in Washington state for the first 29 years of my life, and I have never been skiing.
5. I met my husband on Match.com. Thanks, Match!
6. I do not let go of relationships with people I care about easily. I am still friends with most of my ex-boyfriends, and still maintain contact with my former mother-in-law (ex's mom), with whom I always had a wonderful relationship. This has nothing to do with keeping any flame alive, but everything to do with valuing the good people that I have come in contact with in my life.
7. Along the same vein, I still have a penpal that I first started corresponding with when we were both 8 years old. Her name is Nancy, she grew up in Brooklyn when I was growing up in Tacoma WA, and we are about 2 weeks apart in age. She is now a PhD and works in the field of economics of developing countries. We have only met in person one time, when we were in college in the early 90s.
8. I went on my first diet when I was 11 years old. I lost 25 lbs. Within 2 years, I was bulemic, but I outgrew it in high school.
9. When I was in nursing school, I also sang in my college concert choir, which had 80 members. I was an alto II. We recorded two CDs while I was in the group, and they still make me teary sometimes when I listen to the recordings.
10. When I was a teenager, I planned on being a violin performance major. I changed that to music therapy when I was a senior in high school, but after getting a scholarship and graduating, I decided (wisely) that I wasn't ready for college yet, and ended up taking a year off before completely switching gears to nursing. It was a good decision, both the year off and the nursing degree.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Woo hoo, size 8!
Jeans, that is. I bought some size 8 jeans a couple of weeks ago. The 10s are getting baggy. But I couldn't figure out why I couldn't get them on AT ALL...they SEEMED like the exact same jeans, only 8 instead of 10? But today I couldn't stand it, I went back to the store and tried on every pair of size 8 jeans that I thought might possibly fit. I have thighs that are relatively large for my size, and a waist that is relatively small for my size, so jeans fit is essential (either that, or I just search for the loosest fit I can find to fit into the smallest size....which is it??? I don't know!)
I found the same cut as the 10s, finally, and they fit. They were a little snug, but after wearing them around the house for a couple of hours, they fit perfectly. Score!
I have weird rules about deciding when I have actually dropped a size. I have to be consistently buying clothes in that size, at several different stores, for me to consider myself "that size". And not just the Gap store brands either, they are notoriously kind to American women. So I don't really consider myself an 8 just yet. BUT, usually I fit into the lower size skirt long before jeans of any brand or cut. And I really haven't tried on size 8 skirts, because A, my 10s seem to fit fine still, and B, I don't need any more skirts. I don't need any clothes, really, except that the baggy 10s were really bugging me. I don't like a saggy butt! Incidentally, I tried 10s in the cut that I had bought before, and even they didn't fit in the thighs. But I can buy size 10 at pretty much any store now, and it will fit. So I don't really think it's so much that I am copping out on the jeans. I am not REALLY a true size 8 yet, but I do think I am close, and since these jeans fit NOW, I will take it! :)
I must go run now. Toodles.
I found the same cut as the 10s, finally, and they fit. They were a little snug, but after wearing them around the house for a couple of hours, they fit perfectly. Score!
I have weird rules about deciding when I have actually dropped a size. I have to be consistently buying clothes in that size, at several different stores, for me to consider myself "that size". And not just the Gap store brands either, they are notoriously kind to American women. So I don't really consider myself an 8 just yet. BUT, usually I fit into the lower size skirt long before jeans of any brand or cut. And I really haven't tried on size 8 skirts, because A, my 10s seem to fit fine still, and B, I don't need any more skirts. I don't need any clothes, really, except that the baggy 10s were really bugging me. I don't like a saggy butt! Incidentally, I tried 10s in the cut that I had bought before, and even they didn't fit in the thighs. But I can buy size 10 at pretty much any store now, and it will fit. So I don't really think it's so much that I am copping out on the jeans. I am not REALLY a true size 8 yet, but I do think I am close, and since these jeans fit NOW, I will take it! :)
I must go run now. Toodles.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Someone Hijacked My Facebook
I have been trying to login to my Facebook account for 2 weeks now. None of my passwords work, certainly not the RIGHT one. Everytime I email them to send me a link to reset my account, I never get an email from them. I sent an email to the helpdesk too, but still no reply.
WTF?? So all I can think is someone hijacked it, and changed the email address on the account. Either that or I'm in trouble for some reason.
Today was the big Physio (A&P) test and it sucked. We studied ALL weekend, all 8 of us. I studied with Cat and Connie, and made the biggest stack of index cards ever. Felt as ready as I ever would. Well, the things I know I got wrong, I just wouldn't have known. I don't remember her lecturing on them or reading them (do YOU know what terminates the reaction of a G protein ligand bound receptor??). Just flat out don't know. I am pretty sure I passed, but not 100%. We'll see...I think next Monday??? Argh!
Hanging at the same weight. Did my full 45 min cardio (including 16 minutes of running) and full weight set. Felt very good to do it all, especially since I did no exercise yesterday, opting to use the time to study instead. (Unless you count walking 2 miles total to get to/from Connie's apartment...that doesn't count.) Did I mention I only have 22 lbs to goal? And that I STILL can't fit in the size 8 jeans? LOL.
I have other things to focus on, though. Connie was looking into a Buddhist temple here in Spokane, which is exactly what I've been looking into, too. So we're going to go, there is 1 Buddhist temple (and a Zen Buddhism center, as well) in Spokane, and they have an Intro to Buddhism series that we want to go to, when the next one starts up. It looks a lot closer to whatever I believe about life and the universe than anything else I've seen so far. I am reading about Impermanence and the Worldly Dharmas --the Eight Worldly Dharmas, which are pairs: Pleasure and pain, loss and gain, praise and blame, fame and disgrace. And lots of other very Buddhist things. It all sounds very intriguing. In Spokane, especially if you are white (like the other 99% of Spokanites) it is assumed that you are Christian. Especially in my program, which is based out of a Jesuit school and a Sisters of Providence hospital. They don't assume you are Catholic, but at LEAST Christian, gosh! Sometimes it's humorous, sometimes it's more maddening. I was raised in a Christian (Episcopalian) tradition, actually pretty devout for Episcopalians. The road has been winding and long, but now I just can't come up with any more convincing reason to consider myself Christian than habit and guilt. And friends, that just ain't good enough for me anymore. Nothing wrong with Jesus, but I get a little crazy around his followers.
WTF?? So all I can think is someone hijacked it, and changed the email address on the account. Either that or I'm in trouble for some reason.
Today was the big Physio (A&P) test and it sucked. We studied ALL weekend, all 8 of us. I studied with Cat and Connie, and made the biggest stack of index cards ever. Felt as ready as I ever would. Well, the things I know I got wrong, I just wouldn't have known. I don't remember her lecturing on them or reading them (do YOU know what terminates the reaction of a G protein ligand bound receptor??). Just flat out don't know. I am pretty sure I passed, but not 100%. We'll see...I think next Monday??? Argh!
Hanging at the same weight. Did my full 45 min cardio (including 16 minutes of running) and full weight set. Felt very good to do it all, especially since I did no exercise yesterday, opting to use the time to study instead. (Unless you count walking 2 miles total to get to/from Connie's apartment...that doesn't count.) Did I mention I only have 22 lbs to goal? And that I STILL can't fit in the size 8 jeans? LOL.
I have other things to focus on, though. Connie was looking into a Buddhist temple here in Spokane, which is exactly what I've been looking into, too. So we're going to go, there is 1 Buddhist temple (and a Zen Buddhism center, as well) in Spokane, and they have an Intro to Buddhism series that we want to go to, when the next one starts up. It looks a lot closer to whatever I believe about life and the universe than anything else I've seen so far. I am reading about Impermanence and the Worldly Dharmas --the Eight Worldly Dharmas, which are pairs: Pleasure and pain, loss and gain, praise and blame, fame and disgrace. And lots of other very Buddhist things. It all sounds very intriguing. In Spokane, especially if you are white (like the other 99% of Spokanites) it is assumed that you are Christian. Especially in my program, which is based out of a Jesuit school and a Sisters of Providence hospital. They don't assume you are Catholic, but at LEAST Christian, gosh! Sometimes it's humorous, sometimes it's more maddening. I was raised in a Christian (Episcopalian) tradition, actually pretty devout for Episcopalians. The road has been winding and long, but now I just can't come up with any more convincing reason to consider myself Christian than habit and guilt. And friends, that just ain't good enough for me anymore. Nothing wrong with Jesus, but I get a little crazy around his followers.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
The Band is not Rocket Science
Well, no, but it is a little more complicated than a lot of people think. It's a simple idea--little piece of plastic, smaller stomach pouch. But it is placed on a pretty complex organ, the stomach, which tends to be grumpy and do its own thing. Plus, it is a very mobile and vascular organ, and it tends to push around things like lap bands if we aren't very nice to it.
Yesterday in my perusals of the LBT board, I came across a thread started by a relatively new bandster who wanted to know how to get better nutrition in liquid form. It seems she likes to be very, very restricted, and had posted another thread about how she never talks to a doctor or even her fill nurse about her weight loss, eating habits or anything, just plunks down the cash and gets filled. And she felt this was very empowering, being in charge like that and getting fills whenever she felt like it--every day, if she wanted, according to her posts. So here she is on another thread, clearly overfilled since she can only get liquids down. I don't think she is a bad bandster, but I do think she is misinformed and the rapid weight loss only encourages the misinformation. Who would want to go back to eating solids and slowing her weight loss if she can take liquids all the time and not be hungry and lose weight rapidly? Never mind the fact that the band is supposed to be a healthier way to lose weight than the pure starvation of the malabsorptive procedures.
It's easy to see how people end up with eating disorders after bariatric surgery.
There is a reply on her thread from another member who I believe is less than a year out and lost over 100 lbs and is below her goal weight. She said she liked that kind of restriction too, and spent "months and months" sliming every day. She found it "helpful". And when she got hungry...Peanut M&Ms. This member posts frequently and I've never read anything this alarming by her before. But it goes to show the boards can be a dangerous place. People offer advice like this frequently. Anything that works to lose weight is fair game. They avoid the Complications section of LBT...don't want to hear about people losing their bands after slips and erosions. And more and more it seems people are accepting daily vomiting as normal for bandsters.
The nutritionists at my surgeons' office give a pretty convincing speech about how vomiting every day is NOT normal and is a reason to get in to see the surgeons ASAP. But this positive reinforcement thing is very hard to combat: why change what you are doing when you are losing weight? Well, the reason is, vomiting makes your stomach twist and collapse itself pretty violently. Most of the force of vomiting is produced by the skeletal muscles of your chest and abdomen and by the diaphragm, but the stomach makes deep twisting movements (I want to say they are beta reflexes...where is Bob Martindale when you need him?) that can move a lapband out of place and prolapse the stomach through the band. Add to that the risk of Mallory-Weiss tears, mucosal erosion and other problems associated with frequent vomiting...there is a long list. But it seems pretty sensible to say that anything that forces your stomach to move a lot when you have a piece of plastic around it that you don't want to move, probably isn't a good idea. Plus, wouldn't it be nice to keep food in your stomach and get nutrition from it?
Yesterday in my perusals of the LBT board, I came across a thread started by a relatively new bandster who wanted to know how to get better nutrition in liquid form. It seems she likes to be very, very restricted, and had posted another thread about how she never talks to a doctor or even her fill nurse about her weight loss, eating habits or anything, just plunks down the cash and gets filled. And she felt this was very empowering, being in charge like that and getting fills whenever she felt like it--every day, if she wanted, according to her posts. So here she is on another thread, clearly overfilled since she can only get liquids down. I don't think she is a bad bandster, but I do think she is misinformed and the rapid weight loss only encourages the misinformation. Who would want to go back to eating solids and slowing her weight loss if she can take liquids all the time and not be hungry and lose weight rapidly? Never mind the fact that the band is supposed to be a healthier way to lose weight than the pure starvation of the malabsorptive procedures.
It's easy to see how people end up with eating disorders after bariatric surgery.
There is a reply on her thread from another member who I believe is less than a year out and lost over 100 lbs and is below her goal weight. She said she liked that kind of restriction too, and spent "months and months" sliming every day. She found it "helpful". And when she got hungry...Peanut M&Ms. This member posts frequently and I've never read anything this alarming by her before. But it goes to show the boards can be a dangerous place. People offer advice like this frequently. Anything that works to lose weight is fair game. They avoid the Complications section of LBT...don't want to hear about people losing their bands after slips and erosions. And more and more it seems people are accepting daily vomiting as normal for bandsters.
The nutritionists at my surgeons' office give a pretty convincing speech about how vomiting every day is NOT normal and is a reason to get in to see the surgeons ASAP. But this positive reinforcement thing is very hard to combat: why change what you are doing when you are losing weight? Well, the reason is, vomiting makes your stomach twist and collapse itself pretty violently. Most of the force of vomiting is produced by the skeletal muscles of your chest and abdomen and by the diaphragm, but the stomach makes deep twisting movements (I want to say they are beta reflexes...where is Bob Martindale when you need him?) that can move a lapband out of place and prolapse the stomach through the band. Add to that the risk of Mallory-Weiss tears, mucosal erosion and other problems associated with frequent vomiting...there is a long list. But it seems pretty sensible to say that anything that forces your stomach to move a lot when you have a piece of plastic around it that you don't want to move, probably isn't a good idea. Plus, wouldn't it be nice to keep food in your stomach and get nutrition from it?
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Who's In Charge?
I read a great post on Lap Band Talk this afternoon about being a freaking grownup and taking some responsibility for your success with WLS. I thought it was right on, so I am reposting it here. The permalink is: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f15/who-s-charge-53978/#post740402
The more I read posts on this site, the more I see that patient results are all over the map. In the end, your actions will determine your results. Your level of activity and your self-discipline / self-control will seal your fate. It's a lot of work, no doubt about it.I sometimes feel disappointed or dumbfounded when I see a post such as this - one bandster was consoling another bandster by saying, 'it's ok if you haven't lost any weight because I had my surgery 8 months ago and haven't lost ANY weight.' This is NOT good advice. That individual clearly has issues.
My former therapist once gave me some advice that I will never forget. Now, I don't remember his exact words, which were quite eloquent, but this was basically what he told me. We are made up of three persons - our inner child, our adolescent, and our adult. In any given situation, you can ask yourself, "Who's in charge?" I'm finding that sometimes I'll use his advice when I have to choose between something like a cookie or a sugar-free Jello cup. If I choose the cookie, I know my adolescent is in charge. If I choose the Jello than I know my adult is in control.
For what it's worth, I hope my post will reach someone who needs it. We put our bodies through the lap-band surgery process, and it's a shame to see folks still eating whatever they damn well please. (I don't mean to sound like a bitch there. I'm really a very nice person.)
Who's in charge today for you?
The more I read posts on this site, the more I see that patient results are all over the map. In the end, your actions will determine your results. Your level of activity and your self-discipline / self-control will seal your fate. It's a lot of work, no doubt about it.I sometimes feel disappointed or dumbfounded when I see a post such as this - one bandster was consoling another bandster by saying, 'it's ok if you haven't lost any weight because I had my surgery 8 months ago and haven't lost ANY weight.' This is NOT good advice. That individual clearly has issues.
My former therapist once gave me some advice that I will never forget. Now, I don't remember his exact words, which were quite eloquent, but this was basically what he told me. We are made up of three persons - our inner child, our adolescent, and our adult. In any given situation, you can ask yourself, "Who's in charge?" I'm finding that sometimes I'll use his advice when I have to choose between something like a cookie or a sugar-free Jello cup. If I choose the cookie, I know my adolescent is in charge. If I choose the Jello than I know my adult is in control.
For what it's worth, I hope my post will reach someone who needs it. We put our bodies through the lap-band surgery process, and it's a shame to see folks still eating whatever they damn well please. (I don't mean to sound like a bitch there. I'm really a very nice person.)
Who's in charge today for you?
We Made It
It is March 1. No new snow has fallen in the past 3 weeks. The sky is blue, and sunny, and it's 42 degrees at 11am.
As of this morning, I am officially down 52 pounds. My bandiversary is on March 13, so provided that I maintain this most recent loss by then (or hopefully, add to it) I will have averaged 1 lb per week weight loss this year. That doesn't sound like much to a lot of bandsters, or even to most people researching WLS. But to me, that is a big deal. I've never lost more than 1/2 lb per week, let alone maintain that loss. And if I am within the low average weight loss for the first year after band surgery, that makes me happy! And I am within 22 lbs of my goal, which makes me very happy.
At this time last year I had just scheduled my surgery and sorted out my medical leave. I felt huge, miserable, and desperate, but also saw some light at the end of the tunnel. I had just found out that I was accepted into school, and had all but decided to go to Gonzaga no matter what the outcome at OHSU. (And now that I look at my calendar, today was the day of my OHSU interview last year.) I didn't really allow myself to think too much about where I'd be today, back then. I just wanted to get through surgery and see if it would work for me. I certainly didn't think I'd be running by now, by choice! :)
Speaking of running, last night I did a total of 16.5 minutes running over a total of 45 min on the treadmill. I felt good, and was able to do 2-5 minute sprints (I ran for 5 min, and alternated with walking-next 4 min, 5 min, 2.5 min). My resting HR seems to be hanging about 80-84 bpm. My max HR when I finish a running stretch is 164-176, and it recovers quickly. Things are going well, and my legs can definitely tell they are getting more of a workout these days.
Now I just want to get into those size 8 jeans I bought. It's funny, the 10's I am wearing are getting baggy, but I bought the same brand and style of size 8 and I can't get them over my hips. What's up with that? So I'll try them again in another 3 lbs.
OK, this weekend is all about studying, so I am outta here. Big test Monday.
As of this morning, I am officially down 52 pounds. My bandiversary is on March 13, so provided that I maintain this most recent loss by then (or hopefully, add to it) I will have averaged 1 lb per week weight loss this year. That doesn't sound like much to a lot of bandsters, or even to most people researching WLS. But to me, that is a big deal. I've never lost more than 1/2 lb per week, let alone maintain that loss. And if I am within the low average weight loss for the first year after band surgery, that makes me happy! And I am within 22 lbs of my goal, which makes me very happy.
At this time last year I had just scheduled my surgery and sorted out my medical leave. I felt huge, miserable, and desperate, but also saw some light at the end of the tunnel. I had just found out that I was accepted into school, and had all but decided to go to Gonzaga no matter what the outcome at OHSU. (And now that I look at my calendar, today was the day of my OHSU interview last year.) I didn't really allow myself to think too much about where I'd be today, back then. I just wanted to get through surgery and see if it would work for me. I certainly didn't think I'd be running by now, by choice! :)
Speaking of running, last night I did a total of 16.5 minutes running over a total of 45 min on the treadmill. I felt good, and was able to do 2-5 minute sprints (I ran for 5 min, and alternated with walking-next 4 min, 5 min, 2.5 min). My resting HR seems to be hanging about 80-84 bpm. My max HR when I finish a running stretch is 164-176, and it recovers quickly. Things are going well, and my legs can definitely tell they are getting more of a workout these days.
Now I just want to get into those size 8 jeans I bought. It's funny, the 10's I am wearing are getting baggy, but I bought the same brand and style of size 8 and I can't get them over my hips. What's up with that? So I'll try them again in another 3 lbs.
OK, this weekend is all about studying, so I am outta here. Big test Monday.
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