Weighty life

My update is...the same. I am still bouncing around the 20 lb weight loss. I'm trying to do a few things to get moving again:
1. Drink all my water--this will always be a challenge for me
2. Change my workouts--I do an hour of cardio 5 days a week, but I'll do different things
3. Eat out less. This is a real challenge, as hubby and I both enjoy eating out.
4. Worry less.

I got my third fill, and I do have some decent restriction, and stay full for 4-5 hours. I still eat about 1200 cal a day, try to keep it closer to 1000 but that is hard to do still. I don't chart this daily, more like once or twice a week, just to "check in". Tonight we did go out--it was a beautiful, 70 degree June night in Portland, and we went to a favorite Cuban restaurant, Pambiche, to eat outside on their sidewalk. I had part of a sangria and he had a mojito, and we split an appetizer platter of 1 leek and cheese empanada and some yam fritters, and split a pan pescado, Cuban style fish sandwich with snapper and avocado. I ate mine open-face and left the top part of the bread on the plate (ok, I nibbled the edge a bit). And I experienced my "soft stop", a cross between a sigh and almost a burp. But we did split a dessert too. It was probably more calories than I needed, but it was lovely.

While I'm not experiencing a lot of scale victories currently, I do have oodles more energy than I did before surgery. I'm eating healthfully, getting lots of exercise, and looking trimmer. My mood is better overall as is my ability to withstand stress. I'd have to say I am on the right track. Hopefully the scale complies soon!

Beady life

A couple of weekends ago I had the great pleasure of taking an intermediate beadmaking class from the famous Val Cox, lampworker extraordinaire and purveyor of COE 96 glass frits (what's that?). The class was held at the Eugene Glass School, a relatively new school teaching all levels of flameworking, hot shop and other glass arts. The class was loads of fun, just 9 students, most of whom had more experience than I in beadmaking (I have been doing it for 5 years, although not "seriously" until 6 months ago). We learned tons of techniques and theory and got lots of torch time. The beads I made were not great, but I've been working on technique and shaping a bit since then and have gotten better, I think. Eugene is about 1 1/2 hours south of Portland. Hubby and I stayed at the Eugene Whiteaker Hostel, where we enjoyed the hippy vibe and friendly people, if not the squishy, squeaky bed. It was a really nice weekend, spent partly with my college age sister-in-law and her friend.

Val's website (above link) sells some of her furnace glass frit and is home to her lovely, photo-heavy blog (she has a beautiful country home and is a talented photographer). Her sister's website sells the majority of her glass frit: http://www.valcoxfrit.com/ . But, in addition to Val's blog, where you really should turn your attention (unless you have an interest in COE 96 glass frit, which you might) is her sister's blog. Her sister Sabrina is also a great photographer and offers an equally lovely vision of rural American life. Check 'em out, and don't ever say I didn't do anything nice for y'all.

(Val Cox beads, photos by Val Cox, and fiddlehead ferns, photo by Sabrina)

Slow down, ya move too fast...

I guess that time has come in my WLS blog where my posts start to slow down dramatically. There isn't much to report, really. I'm down 21 lbs in 14 weeks, or -1.3 lbs/week. That is perfect, according to the experts, but it feels very slow. There has been a lot going on in the last few weeks for me, a bit of stress, so I guess I'm happy to still be losing. This week I felt like I was eating everything, despite my fill on Monday (#3, for a total of 2.7cc in my 4cc band). We had going away potlucks at work, tons of sugar, and my husband and I have been eating out a lot lately. There is only one mantra that has helped me to avoid snacking on food that is out for general consumption at work: I tell myself, I can eat when I am hungry. If I'm hungry, go ahead and have some of that food, but if I'm not hungry, I try not to eat. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.

Actually, according to the current science, we all are hardwired to obsess about food, as is nicely summed up in this Time magazine article from last week. Some of us do it more than others. I guess it was only a matter of time in the course of human civilization that the combination of food obsession and industrialization eventually produced an environment where we can pour high calorie, low nutrient foods down our throats all day while sitting on our ever-widening backsides.

Speaking of wide backsides, I went to a support group meeting last week for lap band people, and I doubt I'll ever go back. I brought hubby this time so he could see what it was about. While this one was worse than most, they all are pretty banal, actually, and not very useful. When you have a support group with pre op and post op people of widely varying experience, you end up with a lot of time that is not useful to most people in the room. There were two women there who pretty much dominated the conversation--one with her helpful tips on what protein shake is best, along with other gems of dubious usefulness, and the other who is pre op but repeatedly reminds everyone that "I have a food and nutrition degree" and talks about her time in "nurse's training" which almost always means either, a.) she is a nursing assistant or b.) she got kicked out of nursing school and had to settle for the nutrition degree. I'm guessing (b) in this case. About the time that the back part of the table got completely derailed from the main conversation and kibbitzed about the best protein shakes for 15 minutes, we decided to walk out, and had sushi down the street instead. I think I get much more support and useful info from OH.com than I do from those "support group" meetings.

Scale movement

Not much to add. -18 lbs. It's going very slowly, but it is going. I'm about 12 weeks out, I guess. I've sort of stopped counting. It's hard not to look at everyone else's results. I realize that having less to lose, I'll lose more slowly, and I've always lost very slowly anyway. But still...how about 5 lbs in the nest 4 weeks?

getting closer

OK, it's starting to work now. I went to a BBQ on Friday, and I didn't eat that much, but more than I have been lately. Normally I figure that anything less than perfect eating will mean weight gain for me. But no, I lost another 1/2 lb...I eat less, and I'm more satisfied.

The band works!

It gives me a little extra confidence knowing that I can be human occasionally and not undo all the hard work I've put into this with one night of less than perfect choices. (The sangria was ok...I made it, not my best...those little bits of pasta salad and dessert were really good...and my garden burger was great!) I'm so glad this hasn't been a waste of time and money. I'll never be as fast a loser as most, but as long as I don't gain it back, I enjoy not being hungry and still losing weight.

The Creator

Okay, first off, I have no idea why the months in my Blog Archive list to the right are all in Spanish. I've searched Google and can't find an explanation. Maybe they will go back to English all on their own, and by the time you, dear reader, may be reading this, it will no longer make any sense. That would be best case scenario, I guess. In the meanwhile, I guess it doesn't matter too much. The Blog seems to have its own opinion about this.

I had my 2nd fill on Monday. I got 0.7 cc which fills me to a total of 2.2 cc's. I believe I have some restriction from this, but I still get hungry after about 3 hours. I think I eat a little bit less, though. And I've finally dropped another pound. Yay! I've been working out a lot, and biked to work for the first time on Tuesday, which was fun. (I didn't bike up Marquam Hill though; I took the Tram instead. I'm motivated, not crazy.) I never thought I'd say this, but I love exercising. It clears my mind, and it feels good to move. My personal best is 54 minutes of cardio at the gym. My gold standard goal is 60 minutes a day, every day. If I get 5 days a week, that's pretty good, though. Currently I'm working out 3-4 days a week.

On a tip from Kim Miles, beadist, I checked out a free tarot card (single card selection) today at www.osho.com and this is what my card for the day says:

23. The Creator
There are two types of creators in the world. One type of creator works with objects - a poet, a painter, they work with objects, they create things. The other type of creator, the mystic, creates himself. He doesn't work with objects, he works with the subject; he works on himself, his own being. And he is the real creator, the real poet, because he makes himself into a masterpiece.

You are carrying a masterpiece hidden within you, but you are standing in the way. Just move aside, then the masterpiece will be revealed. Everyone is a masterpiece, because God never gives birth to anything less than that. Everyone carries that masterpiece hidden for many lives, no knowing who they are and just trying on the surface to become someone.

Drop the idea of becoming someone, because you are already a masterpiece. You cannot be improved. You have only to come to it, to know it, to realize it. God himself has created you; you cannot be improved.

Whether you believe tarot or not, it's an inspirational thought for the day. And now I must go get propane and make beads.

Progress?

I'm not blogging much because I am frustrated. I'm in the limbo zone before achieving restriction. My second fill is next week and it can't come soon enough. I am back down to 13 lbs weight loss. I eat about 1200 cal a day. I work out 3-4 days a week, 45 minutes at a pretty vigorous pace. I haven't started weight training again yet, but I will soon.

I feel like I do the right things 85% of the time, maybe even more. How much less can I eat when I am properly restricted? I'm having a bit of buyer's remorse right now...which I understand is common during this phase of the band life. There is so much time to sit and ruminate on why I'm not losing as fast as this person or that person. And of course, people ask if I've lost weight yet after my surgery...which adds a bit of pressure. Grr.

But, the weather is beautiful, and I am going to start bike commuting while the weather is nice. I rode the route today and it only takes 20 minutes. I can shower at the gym and take the tram up to work! It's really the perfect biking scenario for someone who doesn't want to face the giant Marquam hill climb on a bike just before working 12 hours. It sounds like a great way to start the day, and I only have to get up 15 minutes early.

Progress!

Finally! I've gotten to a 15 lb weight loss. I have a fill in 2 weeks, and I need it.

Check out a new website I was led to recently: http://www.formerfatgirl.com/index.html. I added it to my links on this page as well.

On Lap Band Time

Things are slow with the band here. I had a fill 2 weeks ago and can't wait for my next one. I can't believe my surgeon left!!! Grrr. I hope Dr Jan will be a little...assertive...with my band and give me another good size fill. I don't want to say "aggressive" because I don't want to do too much and get set back by barfing or reflux or end up with a slip later...but I know I have a lot of room to go with this band and I want to get going already.

I'm hanging on the 13 lb loss. I'm restless. I work out regularly and make good choices about 85% of the time. I've been in charge at work for the last couple of days and do well except when people leave food at the desk, which happens A LOT. The desk in the middle of the nurses station is Grand Central for sharing food, and the food sits right by my computer. Today I had to ask people to put it in another room so I'm not sitting by it all the time. I mean, come on!! How's a girl going to avoid french fries and cookies when they are sitting six inches from her?!? geez.

I have nothing to add. Lap band time is different and slow. I can't wait for that magic moment when I have restriction and things can get started.

Assessment

I've had my first fill in for a few days and do notice a very subtle difference in how much I am comfortable eating. I don't know if it is real or my imagination. But, I've lost a couple of pounds. That's not bad.

In the past 5 1/2 weeks I have strived to follow all the rules I have been given at various stages of this process. Here is how I think I am doing at this point:

Good

1. eating enough protein
2. eating small portions
3. making quality food choices
4. taking my vitamins
5. exercising
6. chewing thoroughly

Needs Improvement

1. drinking enough water
2. eating 3 meals and a snack
3. paying attention to eating only
4. not eating in front of the computer
5. eating very slowly

It could be worse, definitely. But the issue with sitting at the table to eat meals is going to be a struggle. I usually eat alone, and I just get so bored eating a meal by myself. I can't stand it. I can't be content to "chew" and "enjoy" my food and pay attention to the eating and getting full. That will be a problem when I have real restriction and I need to be careful with small, well chewed bites eaten slowly to prevent getting stuck or barfing. I need to read or something. Lately I've been trying to compromise by reading and paying attention simultanously to what I am eating and how I'm feeling. That seems to be fine, but I don't know if it is good enough and if I will lapse into distracted eating again over time.

All of this will be put to the test with my next fill, I'm sure.