It's very interesting to me how a couple months ago, when I was this weight last (still hanging onto those 4 lbs), I felt thin. Now that I've regained them, I feel fat. That makes no sense. But there it is. I feel like it all went back on my face and belly. Ahh...this journey can't be simple, now can it? I had 33 years to get to the point when I had surgery. Why do I expect to fix my brain in just 18 months?
Gentle reader, I am a snacker. I didn't used to be, when I started out with this surgery a year and a half ago. But slowly, my meals have turned into snacks spread over the day--or evening, on days I am in the OR all day. When I have clinicals, I may or may not get a real break, depending on the case(s) I am in on. Sometimes, like yesterday, I might get 10 minutes to wolf down my yogurt in the morning, and 15 minutes to eat my lunch (spinach salad, veggie patty, and a plum), and no bathroom break at all. (No water, either.) That's just how it goes--my case lasted from 7am until 3pm when I dropped off my patient in PACU, and I didn't want to miss certain vital parts of the procedure that I'd never seen before (aortic cross-clamping, which has significant implications for anesthesia)--so not much eating, and certainly no "pea-sized bites" or "chewing 20-30 times" involved. More like, get some glucose into my blood so I can last the rest of the day! Luckily, I'm not a PB'er. My band is pretty open, and I can eat food quickly if necessary. But then, I come home and graze for an hour or two while checking my email and unwinding. Not so good for weight loss, even if the food I'm eating isn't "bad" in itself.
So, I need to work on eating more meals and less "snacking". I also need to stop visiting Great Harvest bakery and buying their delicious Lite Wheat bread, which I love. And I need to see my surgeon. But what I want there is a fluoro to make sure the band is where it should be, and my surgeon believes in not doing fluoro unless there are symptoms. My understanding is that early band slips are frequently asymptomatic, and they can be detected on fluoro before they get serious. An esophageal dilation is an early form of a band slip (the band doesn't actually slip in a "slip", it's really the stomach that slips up through the band). It can be reversed by going on full liquids for a period of weeks, and unfilling the band partially or fully. If not treated, it can get worse, start causing symptoms, and eventually can become an emergency. The only reason that I think a fluoro might be in order is that I can still eat way too much, and I ate more than usual during my vacation, enough that I think it's possible I could have dilated things a bit. Since I'm not losing weight now (despite my continued running), I think it's a reasonable thing to rule out. But I don't want to fight the surgeon about it. My surgeon in Portland does routine fluoro every 12 months, to evaluate position, and she wanted me to have a 12 month fluoro with this doctor when I switched to him for follow up. I asked him about it and he told me that he only does them if there are symptoms. So going back to see him means a lot of money out of pocket and possibly a battle to get the fluoro, which is a lot more money out of pocket. Hence my hesitation--but yes, I will schedule all of this, and I will go. I promise.
Meanwhile, I should start recording what I eat in Fitday.com again, stop the grazing/snacking, and bump up the exercise a bit more. Right? Seems like a plan. Even with the weight gain, I am only 11 lbs from goal, and I want to get there!